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STBX was there with OM who followed me around my own house.

I was able to damn near completely avoid communication.

I was rattled though.

((((((((hugs))))))))

That sounds totally sucky. But says yet again something about HER character and insensitivity, doesn't it?

I know it may be hard to hear right now but you are SO LUCKY to find this out about her now and not after 20 years and three kids. Trust me on this.

Your goal right now is to focus on building a better you - we ALL have things we need to work on in ourselves - and to figure out how and why you ignored the red flags about her, so that you choose better next time.

It was totally sucky.

OM had a bunch of his stuff moved into what was my bedroom. He lives in another city, but spends as much time as possible at my place with stbxw.

I don't know if I was blind to who she was, or if she changed. I don't understand how she feels completely justified in this. She really thinks everything she is doing/has done is completely ok.

And now she's spending Valentines day with OM in my house in our bed, right up the road. All I can do is sit here in my apartment alone.

I'm pissed at myself for even giving a S$^$! There's already (much better) women who want to be with me... but thats a whole 'nother story.

Hard couple days. Really lonely.

Hang in there ots. That's why it's important to not rely on the opposite sex to make you happy. What have you been doing to live your life?

working on job, spending time with friends, got back to gym yesterday.

A bit better today.

She's not coming back. I'm just trying to accept it and move on.

She's certainly been hurtful enough to make me realize that.

Miserable yesterday. I spent all day missing STBX. Almost like early sitch panic. Went to sleep feeling calm, but woke up with the obsessive thoughts of STBX and OM. I have had NC for nearly a month now.

Someone taught me this useful thing early on here:

If you were watching a really upsetting movie that disturbed you - would you keep watching it? Over and over?

Of course not. So WHY keep replaying over and over this most painful thing that is happening to you?

When it starts up, imagine a BIG RED STOP SIGN.

Then put on some happy music (no sappy country songs allowed!)and do something else. Stop watching that bad movie.

I used that before and it helped, but things popped up again this week.

I'm trying.

I feel so stupid for missing her after all she's said and done.