Really I never thought I would get to my third thread. You guys are the best and my source of strengh. I decided to start this thread before dmod locks out the other one.
Ok now for the update of the day. I was driving back from Brooklyn not expecting to talk to W at all when I get the following text.
W "How was the party?"
M "It was really good!! I meant to thank you for suggesting it, all I had to do was pay they did all the work. She had a few more kids show up than expected ugh. How was your weekend?"
W "Well I'm glad it was good...It was a good weekend. Too short..better to have too many kids show up than not enough.."
M "yeah she had a good turn out. I hope you are feeling a little better this week"
W "I am thank you...Sorry about last week"
M "Sorry for what? I enjoyed our conversation very much"
W "I just feel like....Hope this makes sense...I just feel bad..I don't want u to know when or what I'm down. And I have to be strong and I can't depend on u to make me feel better and need to be a strong independent person..Does this make any sense? So that is why I apologize...I'm glad the party was good I gotta get back to work...Hope you have a good afternoon"
M "Of course it does. Maybe I've never told you but I respect you so much! I admire you for the strenght that u havae not just now but always. When I was deployed you were my rock! Getting Daughter you were an inspiration to me the list goes on an on. I just did a piss poor job of telling you. Regardless I hope you can talk to me. You are much stronger than you believe"
W "Thank you"
Too much? Just right? I really wanted to validate her feelings I know she is hurting I just don't want to over load either.
Maybe a bit too much. However, she keeps coming back to you with these types of messages. You are in a good place, other than distance. She opens up to you very regularly. I would kill to be in your sitch right now. Even with the distance.
Keep it up. Thursday will be here before you know it and it is gonna be great!
B.I.T.S.
M42 W38 D5D7 M8 Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10 Moved out 1-7-11 FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
If you would have just replied by allowing her to apologize, first, and then just say, "It's okay. Glad you are feeling better. You are stronger than you give yourself credit". Then, if she asks how or what you mean.....you could expound more. You salt the conversation a little and if you spark her interest...she will want you to say more. Can you tell when she's fishing for more?
Next time, just don't try to give it all in one setting. Otherwise, she will think the only reason you are saying any of this is b/c you're trying to get her back.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Right on the money. I thought about that after the fact. I always catch this stuff after the fact. Sometimes less is more but I over compensate. Gotta work on that. Something else to beat myself up with. ugh!
This is *exactly* why I prefer to communicate over text or email with my wife. I screw up enough when I have plenty of time to edit but when I am just talking I can't think far enough ahead to keep from screwing up lol.
The only thing is that I think talking live gives her much more of an opportunity to open up... I just have to learn how to respond without pushing her away when I'm being tested.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Besides looking for jobs, what else have you been doing?
I mean you definitely need something to start boosting your self esteem. Your biggest weakness is your fear. What have you been doing to try and lessen it?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am so grateful you have joined the 2stepboogie nightmare. I have read your post on other threads and feel as though you always give good advice. I would be curious to get your opinion on my current situation. Also I don't think the job question is directed at me.......I have one
