I spoke with my FIL yesterday, he told me he talked to my W and told her that she is not the same person, like an alien is living in her at this time. He told her that she needs some type of medical help or something like that. I just listened, then he told me, I told her like I told you, only you can see when you are doing something wrong, like my anger issues. He tried telling me long ago, but I never listened. I don't know if she will even listen to him. But I have faith something good will soon happen.
I started re-reading DR, I just want to make sure I am understanding what I am doing. I am hanging out with the kids trying to do something every day. I really want to contact her but I will not. I am learning that I can be a very patient man if I put my mind to work.
My birthday is Monday then Valentines the week after. I have always made a big deal about valentine's day for my kids and wife. I will get something nice for my girls and write a poem to my wife that she will never see. I will let it out and make myself feel good.
What have I done to get a life? I went to a concert with a group of friends felt like a fifth wheel but I had an awesome time, I have tried to quit being Donny Downer when the subject of my marriage comes up, and I have been hunting every weekend.
What else should I be doing? This is part of the I can't think for myself. Right now I am scared to make decisions that could really get me no chance at this marriage. I have struggled the last couple days because we got quite a bit of snow. I always cleared the walks and the drive. I want to go knock it out but that could be taken the wrong way or as pursuing. So I am just riding this roller coaster with a smile on my face. The funny thing is, I love roller coasters but this one is not any fun! I also read my original post and yes my mind is all over the place, maybe I will try and rewrite it this weekend for more input. Hopefully in a few more days I will have better control of my mind.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
I had a talk last night. She decided to hang out with a single guy from work at his house. I really don't know how far things progressed but I am about as devastated as ever.
The funny thing is I was very calm about all of it and she seemed to listen. I am going to talk to her more today and see what happens.
I think she is heading towards a deal breaker for me. I really hope it doesn't but I just can't stand the thought of her with another man.
I will post more after I talk with her today.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
Well she slept with the other man Friday night. She told me that she is done and want's a divorce now. I have an appointment with a lawyer Thursday. I guess I couldn't save my marriage. She has ripped out my heart and I just need to move on with my life. I wish she wouldn't have done this to our family. I really don't know if I could take her back after this so I have to think things out for a while and try to get in a better place.
I pray that this never happens to anyone reading this, it has been the most devastating thing I have ever went through in my life. I lost my best friend/dad in April and now my wife. I don't think a guy deserves this many kicks in his life. I shall move on and be the better person in this crappy situation.
My 43rd birthday was yesterday. I can tell you that this has been the worst birthday of my life. I probably could use some advice on how to deal with all of the pain. I am a lost soul wanting off of this roller coaster.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
Seminole, Hey, my man. Sorry to hear about your sitch. I have read over your posts and I would like to take some time to come up with a good response. So, I read your request for help and I want to help. Although, keep in mind, this will be the blind leading the blind. But, I will not let a fellow LBS swing in the breeze. I promise I will get back to you tomorrow night after I get home from the gym. Hang in there, buddy. It will get better.
My W walked out five months ago and I thought I was going to pull my own face off with a pair of vise-grips after she left. But, as you can see from my posts, life does go on. My divorced buddies kept telling me that and I could not possibly believe them a couple of months ago. But, they were right. I am doing much, much better now and you will too. I promise!!! Besides, you now have our old offensive coordinator, Jimbo Fisher, who is an excellent coach and he will take your boys to the "Promise Land" very soon!
Take care!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
I am so sorry about what you are going through. Something I have found before I even knew about DB was BAN: Beyond Affairs Network. You can go to their website & find a group in your city. It is for betrayed spouses only. My H had a 2 year physical/emotional affair and continued for most of the last year. Among all of our issues, IT is actually what has brought me to this place now. We are still separated, but we still have hope. For me, it was not all about the affair (although I was devasted for 6 months) then began working on ME this past year. It may be a long journey, but will be worth it in the end. It saddens me greatly that it came to that for her..but it doesn't mean your marraige is over, if you don't want it to be. Learn as much as you can about affairs..the real issues are what you already know. BE PATIENT with yourself. Again, I feel your pain, been there.
H 42, W 41 M 23, T 26 2Kids: S 19, D 16 H had 2 year PA Seperated
