Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Having a really hard time...

Ok... well, it hasn't even been 24 hours. Remember that we need to be patient with everything re our sitch's right now. Patience...

Go do something fun for you to take your mind off of it.

Yeah I'm not too worried. If anything I'm glad she hasn't responded. It would have been real easy for her to say "I'm great thanks" but she didn't so maybe she's thinking a little deeper than that (even if that's all I get eventually)

Well, I guess she isn't going to respond tonight. I'm hoping she didn't get gun shy by me asking her how she is doing. She posted something on twitter so I know she was online at least.

First off, that's why I encouraged you to call her. You've got to talk to her face to face eventually, so an actual call would have worked fine. Second, it would have eliminated your insecurities kicking in because she didn't text you.

Honestly this is the most feeling I've seen from you on here even if it is disappointment. Be honest with yourself. You aren't glad she didn't respond. You wanted her to, yet you were afraid.

Man up and start getting your self-esteem back. Next time she texts, call. You're acting like the ugly kid at the dance hoping desperately for someone to ask you to dance. You're better than that. There are those who hope and wait for things to happen and those who make things happen. Be the latter. One step at a time.

there's your 2x4.

Thank you sir may I have another? Lol

You're right. But at this point I'm still much more comfortable giving the illusion that I'm doing fine over email whereas I might not be nearly as convincing on the phone.

Her response:

I'm good. Weather's not nice here, but only temporarily. I'm staying busy. Work is good, tying up loose ends at home, hanging out with friends & family. Not much exciting to go into detail on.
I saw that your interviews are going well - I hope something pans out for you! Sounds like Houston will be good for you, except maybe the warmer weather. I haven't seen your check in the mail but you do have a few things that have come. Are you learning a lot by being there in Houston with the people working?

................

At least she ended with a question so that I can keep the conversation going. I see that as a good sign. But I don't want her to think that I am "better off" because of the divorce because now I get to work in Houston. This is my dilemma. What do you guys suggest?

also, she references something that I had put on my facebook page so she must be checking that to see how I'm doing as well.

Call her. Keep the conversation short and sweet.

I really don't think I can call her yet. Just reading an email from her was enough for me to break down last week so at least I am better than I was then lol. But talking on the phone would be really tough still.

Do I reply and just talk about how great Houston is? How should I reply?

My instinct is to say "Everything is awesome except that I have this weird hole in my soul where you used to be" lol

I am just torn between acting like I'm doing great and letting her feel like she did what was best for both of us somehow...

What,

She knows you have been devestated, so don't rub that in or make a snarky remark. How about a little honesty that is neutral? Something like, Houston is ok, not fond of the weather, I'm doing ok and working on doing better? Your words and keep it light. Remember to BREATHE before you speak and if you find the call getting to tough, you can just need to go. Do keep it short though.