Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

I agree it at least let's me know that she's curious about what I'm doing. In her mind though I believe she's already moved on, she's attempting to plan her life without me.

Also, the trip she is taking with her mother to a Dude Ranch at the end of February has been all firmed up. Anyone have any ideas how I can deal with the stress of her being away for a week while I'm home with the kids? (Now don't say to have a fun week with the kids - because I will be doing that). As well, I already scared about how my emotions are going to take over me when she gets back. I know I'm going to hoping she missed me, and at the same time I'm going to terrified that she was fooling around with some cowboy while she was away?!?!?!?!

I have some time to prepare, but these are my current fears.

My wife says she does not like sex because it makes her feel like a human dildo.

Wow. I guess she isn't getting the emotional connection she needs. Like I said, my W seems to complain about everything now - nothing was ever good. When it comes to sex though I swear it's never really been her thing, but especially since we've had kids. She made statements (not recently but around the time our 3rd D was born) like "I don't care if I ever have sex again" and "If we aren't trying to have a baby I don't see any point in having sex". The weird part is that when we would engage in sex I know she really enjoyed it. I think the part that always bothered her was normally after I would want to just goto sleep, I wouldn't take the time to try and cuddle or continue sensual touching after we finished. I dunno, just my take.

That's why her comments the other day about her really enjoying it, and if she really loved me then she'd want to ML with me more frequently seemed a little bit silly to me. Again, the feeling that she's trying to put a negative spin on things.

At this point we haven't ML in at least 3 months, but from her perspecitive we haven't ML in years...BAH!

Regardless I cotinue down this yellow brick road in hopes that she finds her heart again...and I don't lose my heart, my brain and my courage!

Weirdest thing is I almost always was the initiator for sex. We have not had sex since last June....

The other night in conversation she actually brought it up that we hardly ever had sex and that showed we had no connection. Well hell, I have asked for 21 years for her to show me she wants me some of the time. I do not always want to seem like the desperate person in the relationship. Now she tells me she did not like having it more than like 5 times a year... Well why did she not step up then.

never ending, I swear.

"My wife says she does not like sex because it makes her feel like a human dildo."

I think she got the sexes mixed up. LOL

IMO it may seem like a game, but all you're doing is going back to how you were before you were married. You probably cared about how you looked, dressed, etc. And after you got married (like the rest of us) maybe let that side go. You don't do it to attract your W. You do it because it makes you feel like a million bucks.

Think about it this way. If you start being healthier, looking better, it benefits you. Whether your W wants to enjoy it, that's up to her. And it doesn't have to be just physical. Is there anything you've ever wanted to learn or do just for the hell of it? Then do it.

That's what gets your self-esteem and happiness back. That's what gets your confidence back.

It's why I encourage those with negative sounding post names to get one that shows a more positive image. It's a small shift, but that small shift can start the change into a better you.

But then that's my .02.

I am doing it for me finally. Seems weird but I guess it IS what I am doing.