Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Here we go AGAIN....

So i forgot my cell in my van today. when my older boys asked me where it was i went looking. When I found it, H had sent me a text. He needed a business number from me. Why he couldn't use 411 or a phone book is beyond me. Anyways, i text him back that I would send digits when I got home. I was home but he didn't need to know that...right?????? About an hour later I text him with number. Nothing else. He texts back thanks and oh yah I forgot the little step ladder there today.


AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! I just wanted to jump through the phone and smack him. It is just another excuse to come to the house and disrupt my day. It would be different if it was to see his kids...but no...only when they are not here does he want to come by.

Whew! Some of my faith in my H has been restored. He texted me tonight asking to see the kids. He is going to watch S11 at his basketball game on Wednesday. Don't know when he plans on seeing D7 though. I was going to go to game but I am not going to now. He does need to see them. At least he is missing them.

Gather all his crap, pile it in the garage and have him take it. I can see him carrying on this little game of "I need my toothpick, I need my screwdriver" crap as long as he can. Right now you need your space and his popping in and out of your life isn't letting get to the emotional state that you want.

As far as the porn, guys are visual, females are emotional... he is bored with his sex life so he goes to porn to find something new and exciting..... 3 or 4 times a week is alot IMHO. When men watch porn they enter a fantasy world, When their actual life doesn't live up to what they see online, they get resentful. Most men need sex.. Not just a woman that will just lay down and spread their legs, they need a woman that is into it.. Someone that will dress up sexy or offer to try something new.... Women need conversation, relaxation.... in order to get into the mood... So what you end up with is one of the main problems between men/women. You give me this and then I'll give you that b.s...

Well I suggest you just work on yourself, figure out what you need to fix. Get some new hobbies, start exercising, take care of your kids (they need a stable parent more than anything right now) and find your happiness. If he comes back, You are in CONTROL of the life you want to have.

Thanks for that tjack45. I know that is what he is doing. I know he wants to see me miserable because I really do think he is. I plan on putting his stuff in the shop for him, just want to do it so the kids don't really notice too much.

And yes I also know he is bored with our sex life. I put a fairly long post on SSM about it.I get what you are saying about men/women. The worst part about that is , is when I was doing the sexy wife stuff he was usually to drunk to remember it in the morning. So all efferts were forgotten. And yah you could tell me to have tried it when he wasn't drinking but I very honestly can not recall many times that he has been sober.

Anyways, I am going to get back to being ME! The person I used to love. I know she's in here somewhere.

Thanks again.

Jeepers creepers.....again with the texting this morning. H text me at 7:40 wanting to know when he can see D7 now. Why couldn't he make plans last night when he asked about kids? And further more he knows the schedule in the morning. Knows that I would be getting kids ready for school at that time. When I did text him back I asked him what he was thinking for spending time with D7. All I got back was don't know. So he didn't even have a plan for spending time with her. Just wanted to do what???...drive me nuts???

He is the one that wanted out so why all the BS from him??

So no other text from H today. He did talk to D7 on the phone for a few minutes tonight though. He is staying at a friends house right now and was cooking them dinner for them so he didn't stay on the phone long. I know the guys he is staying with and they are both alcoholics. This will not be good fom H. He already has a drinking issue and this will only encourage this behaviour. Both these men are also single and very much hate women and are disrespectfull to them.

At least I know what kind of reactions I will get from my H. This won't work as long as he is there. BUT there is nothing I can do about it. He has to take his own path in life. Thankfully my H does not like to be in a situation like this for very long. It will get to him and hopefully he will move into our travel trailer for a bit. It is not on our property so he still would be gone.

Worst part of today is that D7 is really missing him. Trying to be positive for her but she keeps saying daddy left because he doesn't love me anymore. Tried to tell her that was not the reason but hard to explain to 7 year old. D7 then tells me that I should get her a step dad. But not an old grumpy one like her dad...a young 28 year old would be good. I just laughed at her. At least the convo with her turned to a brighter note.

For 7, she is a very perceptive little girl. Just found out that S11's b-ball game has been cancelled tomorrow. I texted H to tell him so he didn't show up tomorrow. Not much of a response back. But that is okay.

I think I have rambled on and on tonight. Head space is all over the board. Tomorrow is another day and it will get better!

Ok here we go again. Texts from H started at 7:15 this morning. Wanting to see kids ect... I texted him back when I got home from dropping kids off at school. Let him know that S11 bball game was not cancelled. That was it.

I was getting ready for work and I had the stereo cranked. When I went back into my room I saw that I had another text. It was H telling me that he had left eggs in the bird room for me. I texted him back saying Please don't do that again. We agreed to this arrangment. he text back I texted you 3 times. quit being a bitch.

I really did not get any text from him. I checked. So I texted back...I did not get any texts from you about coming here today. I am not being a bitch.

Why is it that he wanted out but he has to keep doing this crap? I really need my space but he does not want to give it to me. I never daid I wanted out of the M. I wanted to try and work on things.

Not gonna let this make me have a bad day. Gonna dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's forever!

I am oh so angry right now. My H spent a bit of time with kids after school today. When they get home they inform me that H has told them his plans. He is going to move into the basement suite of where he is living right now. There are people in there at the moment so it won't be right away, but when he does then S11 and D7 are going to live with him for 2 weeks and then they will live with mom for 2 weeks.

What the heck is he thinking talking to the kids about adult stuff and decisions like that without even running it by me first? The kids are so confused right now. He hasn't even been gone a week and this is what he is doing. I wanted to pick up the phone and rip a strip off of him. I didn't and I am trying to not call or text, but holy crap I AM PISSED OFF.

I did tell the kids that it wasn't right for dad to talk to them about stuff like that without dad and I making a decision first.

I was trying to write on someone else's forum but all I could see was red. Have to calm down before I can write something for someone else.

I just find it interesting that men seem to have an opinion about it and have never tried it. There is no way in heck my STBX would go either. So, I went alone.

Our WAS/MLC'rs give a whole new definition of the word selfish