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Well completely hopeless?
I was actually 'hoping' for something else to happen, when she came around.

Did I think it was completely over?
Yeah I did.

So to answer your question, yes.

But i do need some advice. Currently my entire paycheck is automatically deposited into her account. I have opened a separate account and will have my check deposited there. I will still pay my house payment and car payment which she drives but that is it she will have no other income. Is that a good idea

Dating other people right now, for you, I don't think you'd be doing it for the right reason.

More of a "I'll show her" type of thing, and I suppose if you were the type of person who didn't care about using people it might not matter.

I suspect that isn't the case with you though.

Jack what did your wife tell you? Mine has said she should have left years ago, that she isn't happy, isn't attracted to me, doesn't love me, says she is done, that i cant make her happy i have tried and that all we do is fight and argue.

she also said that we have never been good for each other

Also can anyone give me any personal experiences of going dark, did u get a response and how long did it take?

John,

My W has said the exact same things. We got together so young, and we didn't really know who we were. Our sitch basically defaulted us into getting married. We aren't compatible, we don't like the same things, we have different dreams, we never should have gotten married.

My favorite is when she says "I only married you because I was guilty that I cheated on you when we were engaged." LOL - Seriously? We then moved in together for a year before planning to get married again, we then had 2 children and moved to her dream town and had a third child. Ya, the last 8 years have been a mess! lol

Seriously I believe like people say "they are in a fog", I actually told my W she was like living with a zombie!

They all say the same things, my W tells me she doesn't love me anymore and that she believes she's never loved me, all I do is annoy her.

Whatever makes her feel better about the direction she's headed right?

John, ignore (or seriously doubt) anything they say and only believe %50 of their actions.

Detaching is the word, I'm on Day 4 and I feel great. Keep reminding yourself of the "game plan" so to speak.

I'm becoming the new me regardless of her, if she comes around I'll be guarded and I'll do what's best for me - without the emotion behind it.

You can do it!

For a real solid response? It took about 3 months.

And when I say dark, I mean dark, no contact unless it was about bills or our boys. Not the version of dark where you can backslide or be dark only when it suits you.

I ignored all the crappy little, "I thought you might like this article emails."

But that is her and my timeline, not going to be the same for you.

As to what she said?

It doesn't matter, your wife won't be saying the same things.

John based upon your rapid fire posting, I'd say your freaking out a little, go workout get rid of some of this energy, you want my story I have about 9000 posts you can read if you really want to kill some time MrBond has almost 4000 and Sandi has 7000+, but I don't recommend it.

Jack i do workout actually a bench press winner 2 years in a row going for three this year. I went dark for a week and all she did was ask her friends if they had heard from me and then i backslid. Then she said i feel bad for him and i think he has changed but i cant forget the old stuff and i she thinks we will fall back into the same old rut.

PS - clarifying. I don't recommend reading all the posts, not just picking on Sandi : ) just in case.