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Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you the one who had anger and jealousy issues and that was the main reason why she left? Plus you had an A I believe.

"yea i did was griping about her behavior thats the only way i can get her to respond to me"

You spent last month trying to change. It seems like you haven't been able to make them stick. You act that way because you believe that's the only way to get her to respond to you. Why the heck would anyone want to respond, positively, to someone who keeps griping at them and complaining about their behavior?

You said you'd lighten up on the control issues. Doesn't seem that way to me. You being constantly critical of her, even to get a reaction, isn't exactly going to have her falling into your arms.

Do you want to save your M or not? If you're going to keep being critical, you might as well go down to the L and end it right now. It's faster.

That's a 2x4 BTW.

Mr. Bond just a question im gonna stop relationship talks with her. Last night she finally answered me and said she was done arguing with me forever. Said we argue bout the same stupid things and then i tell her how she is supposed to feel and ignore her feelings> what do i do now. and how

You've got to get the basics of DBing down before you can expect change. No R talk is one of the first basic principles. No pressure on her comes under that. If I read nothing but this last post from you, I would think you had been applying pressure b/c you said she "finally" answered you.

She's right, the two of you argue about the same old stuff.....so how do you break that cycle?

sandi but when i stop talking to her she says i thought u finally understood. this is some hard stuff

Please explain further.

Ok a few weeks ago i stopped talking to her completely sent her a letter saying i agree with the break up and that we both needed time. Well her friend called me and said my w told her about the letter and she said that i had her thinking and that my wife said i think he has changed but i cant forget the old stuff and believes we would fall back into the same ole rut. Well when i finally contacted her like an idiot i started the relationship talk and she said what about the letter u sent me i though u understood.

When she doesn't respond i get upset and say things i really regret later. i know i have to stop that. We been separated 3 months but it seems like an eternity

i have got to stop the mean things i say when i get frustrated. When i ask her to go somewhere and have fun she says no cause i dont wanna be a bad mother or a whore.

"Mr. Bond just a question im gonna stop relationship talks with her."

Should have stopped at least 2 months ago.

"Last night she finally answered me and said she was done arguing with me forever. Said we argue bout the same stupid things and then i tell her how she is supposed to feel and ignore her feelings> what do i do now. and how"

Read my post above again. Stop starting fights with her just to get a reaction. YOu've got alot to atone for and everytime you start up like this you're back at ground zero.

Go dark completely for at least a month. Then maybe start things on a friendly foot. But you have work on your anger/jealousy issues at the same time. Does she run the risk of finding someone else? Sure she does. So it's up to you whether or not you want to take that chance. It's obvious you haven't learned anything by picking fights with her.