Lotus, yeah, we've fallen away from doing the dialoguing which is too bad. Part of that is my fault (as most things in M, have to share the blame) as I wasn't sure if I wanted to start doing this if I was going to move out and go dark. W has made a few comments hinting that she's having second thoughts about the move. If it looks like the move may be postponed or canceled, I'll bring up doing the dialoguing again. I found a link from the Retrouvaille site with literally thousands of dialog topics, more than enough to last the rest of our lives!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
I hope that you and your wife will practice the dialoguing while you wait to do the Post sessions. It's important to keep the communication going. Not just talking. There is something different about the dialoguing that makes you feel close to each other, that talking just doesn't match. The Post sessions are very important.
When Retrouvaille was started many years ago, it was just the weekend. And lots of people were able to save their marriages with just the weekend. But then it was decided that more help was needed, and they developed the Post sessions. This really boosted the percentage of couples who were still together after 5 years. Now 80% of couples who do the entire program are still married 5 years later.
Lotus is totally correct, i think thats where we went wrong, Stopped going to the post meetings, there was alot of support during those. And it was fun as well....
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
Just wanted to chime in. My wife hasn't worn her rings in more than a year. She always took it off when I had a porn addiction episode. I have had mine on forever except for a period when it was damaged and I had to get it fixed.
During the earlier part of the separation I kept my ring on, but took it off when I figured my wife might see this as my denial or that I see this situation as something that will blow over (just like the other occasions in years past).
After about a month, I got some advice from friends and people here that by taking off my ring and, more crucially, combined with a mistake I made by opening a free Match.com account (which my wife discovered via one of her friends), my wife may think that I truly don't want this marriage anymore. Needless to say, my ring has been in it's rightful place since then. I hope that in the near future it'll mean something more than just a current personal statement.
