I agree with you Pickle, but what I don't understand is not just tell me she's not ready to go?!?!?! Would that be so hard instead of just telling me "I will" everytime I ask?!?!?
Don't expect a WAS to be rational. She may have answered truthfully, then keeps changing her mind. She may be lying to avoid an argument.
Don't necessarily listen to what comes out of their mouths, if you want to know what they're really saying. Sometimes they speak in words other times they use actions and inaction. IMHO the actions speak louder.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I have a sense that I am being told to detach again. LOL.....guess it's really a mind over matter thing. I need to just make it clear in my mind that I need to be emotionally detached from the sitch. Again - much harder to do than say because obviously I DON'T WANT to be detached from the sitch. Back to the drawing board
Being detached does not mean you will be detached from your sitch - it will enable you to work more for your sitch.
And its true, its a mind over matter thing. A fw practical tips:
1. Don't react immediately - the old "count to 10" before speaking works here. I think it is better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.
2. Don't ask too many questions ....aside from the answer being hurtful, sometimes, the questions we ask actually plant seeds in the mind of the MLC'er. For example, you ask if they really truly don't love you, and they say yes - it hurts you, then they begin to believe it, especially if you accept it!
My D12 once told me: if you don't like the answer to the question it is because you asked the wrong one.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
As trugritter once advised me in my early stages of panic. Just STFU.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
