Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Crisis changes everything!

I don't know her but a big hug to you both!! (((((Barb & Ashley))))) Group hug. lol

She has to find a way to be good with just herself as we all know. People aren't always on the same page and she needs to learn as long as she is true to herself, she can handle it. She is still growing Barb. give her time.

kat

Thanks for the hug! I just gave her a Turtles chocolate. Figure there's not much a listening ear and chocolate can't fix.

I was married at her age. I was out on my own. I guess sometimes I forget that 22 is really still young.

And of course against all my best advice (I always give this advice) - she posted something about it on Facebook. BIG MISTAKE! She just wrote that "She is disappointed" and the girl was all over her. "I hope you're not talking SH*T about me on Facebook". UGH - Social networking is not the way to solve disputes. We go through this again and again but they do not get this.

I see you have pre-teen daughters. Oh boy - you've got to go through all of it yet times two. Good luck! You just don't get all the drama with the boys.

Barb

That is true! The boys have been pretty easy on me. . Sometimes they have their emotional meltdowns even now. I remember I didn't have an easy time during my teens. I am very close to my 12 year old, I am hoping that bond will serve me well. Any advice will be appreciated.

kat

Kat: My son rarely melted down although he was sensitive and like everyone - sometimes got hurt. But not like my daughter - moving from one emotional crisis to another. Just wait till the hormones really kick in. Should be soon. Wait till she has her first heartbreak.

Best advice is to stay as close to her as you can. Ashley and I were so very close but she pulled away when her dad left. I think we were both hurting so much and in some ways she blamed me for him leaving (irrationally - she admitted that herself but still...).

Ashley's dad left just as she was becoming a teen - the week she turned 13 - the same week that 9-1-1 happened (her birthday is Sept 12). So her world collapsed as the entire world was in chaos. A very traumatic time.

I try to listen and not judge. I don't always agree with everything she does and the social media does not help a bit since these teens tend to battle it out on Facebook. I strongly discourage it but my advice is not always listened to.

At any rate - just be there for your kids as always - it is what they really need and just like us - sometimes they just need to vent.

Barb

Hi Barb! Wow, just read through your thread. So much happening to you this month. So much 'closure' too.

I just wanted to clarify my sitch with cancer, and not take over Wii's thread. Hearing about your son's seizures brings it all back because that's how they discovered my tumour. It's not a good one ... clings to the nerves of the brain, and has a habit of returning. I am also on Tegretol, but also Dylantin. I'm glad for the tip about changing to generics. I haven't had a seizure in over a year and a half, and I want to keep it that way. The tumour was clear in June, and the doc says I only need to have MRI's on an annual basis instead of every 6 months (I was so happy). I went through biopsy op, radiation and chemo to get rid of it, but I think a lot hinged on one's attitude and determination. The diet I am trying is to prevent the return, if possible.

I can empathize with your son ... seizuring is not fun, it's like dying then coming back to life over and over. Very disorienting ... not surprised he was vomiting. I was so relieved when they got it under control. But, the awful part is when you know that your family bearing witness to it, are under so much pain and fear.

You are such a good mom. It's funny how, even at my age, I wanted my mom (long gone, but maybe there in spirit).

Anyway, have a super Christmas and an uneventful New Year.

Hi BM!

Wow - that is wonderful news about your treatment and recovery. I will pray for you to continue to be cancer free. This is very encouraging.

Ryan had his first seizure 26 years ago and went into hospital with seizures out of control, status epilepticus and put into a coma. It was a miracle he lived then and another miracle he lived now. Why - just a month ago he was still on a ventilator! I get chills when I think of it and realize how far he has come.

This Christmas I am embracing my children. All 3 will be here in the next hour as Brandon arrives and Ashley is off for 3 days. He is coming by bus so she is picking him up. I love my kids so much!

Merry Christmas to you and yours and a Happy, Healthy New Year!!!

So we got through the Dad visit to the house 2 weeks ago. As suspected - he did criticize things in Ryan's room. Commented on his wood laminate floor. He is laying one in his house right now and let Ryan's nurse know that ours was not a good job. hmmmm.... He also made a few other comments despite the fact Ryan has a very large suite of rooms that are decorated nicely and well built. Sometimes I think he just likes to find something to talk about.

A couple of days ago he phoned me. I still find it so strange to have him phoning me after years of nasty calls followed by 4 years of NOTHING. Anyway - he asked if I was still ok with him visiting Ryan in his room for Christmas Eve to open gifts. I told him it was fine and that I thought it was nicer for both of them than opening in his car. He was cordial and even wished me a Merry Christmas. So - we continue to be civil and this is better for everyone concerned. Too bad it took us so long.

Barb

That's great Barb. I know I'm grateful for the civil R I have with my wife. Tomorrow night I'm going to her place for a Xmas dinner and in the morning we will open gifts as a family and in the afternoon go visit my Dad together in the hospital. I think I'll sleep at my place Xmas Eve, sleeping in her basement beside the furnace that sounds like a plane taking off all night isn't my idea of a good sleeping arrangement.
I'm glad your ex can come over to open presents with Ryan, it shows what a huge heart you really have!

Glad to hear that Barb! yes it is better for everyone, sometimes its odd for us --lol but better
mine sent me a nice card with some rather sentimental mushy stuff written , yipes! he gets very nostalgic at this time of year, come spring he'll be my good ol ex again LOL

Happy it was a good Chritmas for you all1

Glad things went well for you. Holidays can be a bit touchy and sentimental. Darn Hallmark and their sappy commercials and movies. I avoided them for the most part this weekend. lol

Hope you have a lovely and grand new year.

kat