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Ok so we don't have a schedule of when he sees the kids (ofcourse beneficial to him) but I had agreed. He asked if I can drop off D and I said I would have to see if I would have time.

I called him back like a dummy and said can we talk when I drop her off he said "no". I said that is fine and he said goodbye, then he calls me back and says are you using the kids to get to me, I said no that I would drop her off anyways, so then he starts to initiate the convo. and I tell him that when he moves out he made a promise to not have OW around kids he tells me I'm imagining things and that it is done between them (they have reason to hide it right now because of her families disapproval of him being married).

He mentions that it's so hard to see the kids now and that when he moves out he will see them more and of course I have to mess up again and tell him that it was his choice not to be around them and to leave us. He continues to tell me that he can't live with me anymore and I know it's because of OW!

I asked him if he wants to divorce and he doesn't answer which to me meant yes but not now. See he needs to be married to me right now for some personal reasons but he tells me listen give me 2 weeks and I promise you I'm going to tell you everything. I said what do you mean everything and he says everything.

I know for a fact that he needs me to not file the D but what could he possibly tell me in 2 weeks? Is he buying time to calm me down and convince me not to file or is he going to make a desicion (trying not to get hopes up)!

Also, I have a question in about 4-5 months he's going to be gone for atleast 2 years is that going to help my situation and break his and OW's relationship or would they survive the split? They have been having a PA for probably a little over a year and can't seem to break it off every time they attempt to?

I feel like my sitch is a little different because our culture plays a big role in it as well. For instance the OW will never be accepted into the family especially because of his kids but to me it looks like they might not care about being disowned by both families! Divorce is not that big of a deal anymore but I think they are hiding the fact that they are together until he is able to do it and then they will act like they just met.

Please, I'd appreciate any input on what the experienced DBer's think. I atleast need to know how to act until the 2 weeks is up, do I continue to LRT or another method???

Thanks in advance for any help

I've been doing really well with detaching, have not called, pursued, or R talks at all for a week and a half I know that isn't long but it's the best I've done in months. He calls almost everyday just to see how the kids are doing. I get some positive vibes like I don't hear the anger in his voice anymore but on the negative end he seems more detached than he ever has. I found out from his sisters that he told them "it's done between us" again. I love him but as I detach more and more I'm finding that I'm starting to be less interested in him and I keep remembering all the negativities in our relationship. Is this suppose to happen? I feel like by the time this is all over I'm going to be so mentally tired I'm going to second guess saving my marriage. Should it be that difficult for 2 people to be in a relationship, shouldn't he know what he wants? I honestly cannot think of anything I have done in the R to make him want to leave us. He wrote me a letter a few months ago and said, "thank you for being a good person. It's not you it's me." He also said “life is messed up, I guess just leave it up to God and see what happens.” Didn't sound very enthusiastic but I didn't take it to be a bad thing either. Please someone give me some encouragement to stay on the DB path I'm starting to lose hope and just giving up...I'm tired.