Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers It looks so bleak II

Just checking in, no real progress. Wife still seems very cold to me and i havnt had much luck with this insurance gig (might just be slow to start) im going to continue to look for employment elseware. But on the marriage front im just failing to make myself appealing to my wife, I feel entirely out of control of the situation. Real employment is the key but i cant seem to obtain it.

Any input guys would be nice, by the way ive almost entirely stopped smoking. and weigh in at 168

I was 207lbs. at bomb, 175lbs now. Still smoking though. Not having good luck with that.

If you you needed to lose weight,great, at least it is something we can feel good about.

I have caught myself doing sit-ups, having a smoke, and then doing more sit-ups. lol. That is awful.

Ha well im low on finances so smoking is no longer a priority, as far as losing weight . . . well i cant afford food so i just dont eat unless im at a friends house. Honestly if i dont get a job, my marriage isnt going to be the worst of my problems.

First off you've got to get your sh@t together. When you start making comments like how you can't afford food (even jokingly) sounds like you're letting yourself down.

Forget about your W right now and concentrate on you. Stop thinking about how you're going to look appealing to your W and see to your own needs first. Then save your M.

Sorry, I forgot your background but are you living with your W?

No she and i are not living together, i hadnt had any contact with her for about a day. She texted me yesterday morning and i did not reply, she was supposed to come over during her lunch break and texted me telling me that she had to do something for her aunt and couldnt come once again i did not reply. I havent heard anything from her since then and havent contacted her either. I also might have a chance to get a job at a shop on the north end of town, so thats progress right?

You should have acknowledged her message. Just a simple "thanks for letting me know, take care." would be sufficient. Then no contact.

You do no contact when she's just calling to see how you're doing. As if you've got things in motion. Never show her that you're in a position of weakness. Show her confidence that you are taking charge of your life.

Time for an update. Now before i even get into it, i know what most of you are going to say. Youll tell me to give it up, but ive already made my decision and thats to keep fighting and be by her side whenever she needs me. Well here goes ill keep this short so as to minimize my time thinking about it, . . . . Shes pregnant . . . . by another man. I found this out by going through her phone if your interested.

Nas, I don't know your entire sitch but if this new development is true I feel really bad for you.

I think you need to back off and seriously think about if this is something you can deal with and continue to want to M to work. My W cheated on me prior to us getting married, and slowly we worked through it and I was able to trust her again.

I also think someone with more DB experience can comment as to what to do with the sitch now, whether to confront your W or wait for her to tell you.

How long has she been involved with OM?

shes been involved with him i believe since shortly after she left. I am able to deal with it and have already come to terms with it. Its not the first time she cheated on me and ive learned to forgive.