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Enh. Just be upfront with him. Tell him he isn't your type, that you liked meeting him, but that you want to just be friends.

I have just seen the new anti divorce busting forum and I am truly shocked. Ok, if you're unhappy about some thing, vent your feelings, feel your unhappiness but move on. Seriously, there is no need to perpetuate such negative feelings let alone hold onto this negativity and hostility.

This board belongs to Michele Weiner Davis. This is what we have to remember. We may not agree with her actions sometimes but it is her board and its purpose is to creatively use the DB techniques for our own situation and to support and give advice and differing opinion to each other in doing so and help find the most effective course of action. In the meantime we create a support network on here that, for me, I could not have got through this without. If you want to follow other techniques and advice, find another board.

I have spent hours on this board reading, when I first started reading old posts to find inspiration and comfort in my desperation, and have noticed this new trend that has evolved. Yes, in recent times there is bullying applied on here, it is obvious, and the trend for the tone on here at times is very different to earlier days.

For me, anyone that spends time on here helping others is giving someone else a huge gift. However show humility in your posts. This is a place for positivity and inspiration for people that have enough negativity going on in their lives rather than experiencing negativity here.

I think that perhaps in the instance of the anti Divorce Busting site, Michele's technique of GAL should be employed, and that means focusing on things in your life that make you happy, your family and friends, your hobbies, your life.

I step off my soapbox.

Amen Julia!

I went over to that board to see what the hub bub was all about and it's really discouraging to see how negative things have become. Maybe that is why I stay here with my longtime friends, on the Surviving board. The newbie board has gotten so out of control with a lot less support and more being judgmental. It's very sad to see and so I stay here with the people I know and trust.

Yeah, I know what you mean. On the other side I don't like the posts by dbmod either. I don't find them particularly helpful on peoples threads and can be quite antagonistic.

Things are going well here. I'm still in Melbourne and managed to get a couple of days work. I have found a really nice temping agency and the boss there seems to really like me. In fact last night she had me go over to her house (which was one of the most amazing houses I have ever seen!) and waitress at a party for her. It was fun and I earnt $100 so all was good.

Christmas is fast approaching, and while I don't feel like it is Christmas in anyway I am looking forward to it as I am flying up to Sydney for a few days and spending it at Bondi. Hopefully it will have stopped raining by then.

I don't know if this is a mistake or not but Joe got in contact with me a few weeks ago and we are spending Christmas together. He has been very lovely since then, messaging and calling me. We have a lovely couple of days planned. I just thought, rather than spending Christmas in the hostel with random people that I don't particularly like that I would like to have a fun Christmas. So 4 days there and then back to here again.

Wow Julia you are having such an adventure! Are you keeping a journal so you can remember it later? I never do that but I always think it is a good idea.

If you want to spend Christmas with Joe, then do it. If you think it will be fun then go for it...

Hey BobbiJo,

That's is, I just want to have fun. I feel like I aged about 10 years in my divorce and now, just for this year, I want to just say 's0d it, I want to have fun'. And it will be, much better to have a Christmas for me than be a spare part somewhere else...

Yeah, I have a journal, although I am not good at writing in it. The photos are pretty awesome though and do help!

Hey Julia.. what board is that then? Sounds controversial !!

I was wondering if you had any Christmas stuff planned.. sounds like a good idea to spend it with someone familiar rather than strangers.. as long as you dont get too attached again!

At least you are missing all the chaos ice and snow back home hey, although we havent got a flake of it where I am.

Hey Julia, I'm of the strong opinion that if it seems like fun and not too dangerous then DO IT! Have fun, be with someone you know and like. That's what is important right now. You are living in the moment....PERFECTION!

That is funny Ali, I was thinking the same thing when I was watching the news this morning and the reporter was standing outside Buckingham Palace and everything was covered in snow....Julia sure is lucky she is down in Australia where it's SUMMER!!!!! I have a client who's flight to London was diverted to Dublin and he has been stuck there since Saturday....not a happy camper but what the heck am I supposed to do about it...

Well, have fun!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Mine was lots of fun. I had to get up at 3.30am to get my flight which was pretty hideous. I met Joe at the coach station and it was a nice reunion. We hugged but both had lots of bags so it was quite funny. It was very natural between us straight away.

We spent the rest of that day relaxing in the room, as we were both pretty tired from our respective journeys and both... uh hum... well, it had been a while for both of us...

Christmas Eve was nice, we went for a walk, went window shopping and went to Midnight Mass, as he is Catholic. It was really lovely to sing carols and it was really special between us. We hugged and were so affectionate to each other the whole 4 days. When we got back from Mass he gave me his rosary beads that his niece had given him before he went away as he said they had looked after him well and now they would look after me. I asked him if he was totally sure and he said yes, he wanted me to have them.

Christmas Day was fun. We found a place that did a take away roast but it closed at 3pm and we nearly missed it because we overslept. So we had roast chicken and salad, as that was all that was left, in the courtyard of the hotel. It was really tasty actually. Then that evening we went to the beach and weirdly bumped into two guys that had passed through Port Douglas so we went back to theirs for a bit. They said Joe could stay with them after I went which was lucky for him as he had nowhere to go after. Typical bloke!

On Boxing day we just spent the day chilling out again. Then on our final day we did a free walking tour round Sydney, we had such a laugh together.

Nothing negative happened at all, we spent the whole time being affectionate. I even caught him giving me a kiss when he thought I was asleep, obviously I still pretended to be. He got more affectionate as the days wore on, holding my hand etc. When I left he said how much he had enjoyed spending Christmas with me. And said 'Don't forget who loves you'. I don't know what that means, since he also said at one point that he doesn't believe in love. And we snogged in the station and he had to force himself to walk away.

I asked him why he didn't contact me for so long and he said that he hadn't known what to say. That I had left Port so quickly and that when I went he was gutted but his room mate (good old Blake!) had told him 'it was his own f*cking fault' which he admitted was the truth. He really didn't seem to want to talk about it.

The other thing was that the tour guide was asking me what my plans were for the rest of my time here and I accidentally said I would be doing my farm work (to get my second year visa) in Adelaide, which is where Joe plans to do his. I looked over at Joe, because I had an oh sh!t moment, and he had the biggest smile on his face at hearing that.

So who knows what will happen next. I think the mistake I made last time is that I expect all the attributes of a long term relationship as that is what I am used to. I just have to reframe this as what it is, a backpacker romance that may or may not have potential but to enjoy the moments we have and not expect more.

All in all, I am so glad I made the decision to go. I had a wonderful time and I have a smile on my face writing and remembering it. Now I am back in Melbourne and looking forward to New Year with some girlfriends.