Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers It Looks so bleak

That is young. So how long have you been unemployed? Start to get your self-esteem straightened out first. Get your insecurities squared away. What have you been doing to GAL?

Have you read DR or DB?

Thus far i have been fervently looking for a job, reconnecting with old friends, attending church (like i should have been doing, and still cant manage to leave her alone.

Ive been told to give her some space and eventually she will begin to reopen to me. Ive been told that i should act as indifferent towards her as she does me. Ive even been told to get a girlfriend (to which my wife says that i should, so i can get some confidence and have fun, and that way i wont be home waiting on her and being miserable)

I have been unemployed for about a year, for 6 months of that i was told to just stay home and watch the kids seeing how poorly my job search was going

"i was told to just stay home and watch the kids seeing how poorly my job search was going"

Who told you that? Your W? You're the man, start providing for your family. If not in your field then go into another. Right now your W works with alot of professionals. How do you think she views you?

I think if you start getting your act together you'll be able to soften your W's stance.

Besides, if you get a D what do you plan to do about money? The game industry doesn't look to promising with the economy right now but you could use your computer skills for something else.

"Ive even been told to get a girlfriend (to which my wife says that i should, so i can get some confidence and have fun, and that way i wont be home waiting on her and being miserable)"


She is telling you this so that she can play the field without guilt...


Response to W:
"W, right now my only focus is giving OUR kids a stable happy life in the midst of chaos."


Be strong and confident...

Well im more of an artist, but my line of work is automotive repair. That is the currnt objective though, to get a decent job so i can take care of myself and help to provide for my kids. Im hoping that if i can get my act together it will shed me in a new light to my wife. She has already stated in the past that i am pretty much everything she wants in a man, if i can somehow show her that i can do that and be responsible maybe i can get my foot back in the door with her. If i can remain her friend then i might be able to move back into her heart.

Good point, how about the indifferance

She is indifferent because she has detached...

She doesn't care what you do or where you go or who you see...

So you need to act "as if"...

"as if" your life will be fine...
"as if" you can live without her...
"as if" you don't need her...
"as if" you are in complete control of the situation...

You have NO CHOICE nas. You can only control YOU...

And when you have control over you, she will notice...

Ok, but detaching from her in that manner (even if it is an act) is extremely difficult for me (not anything new in this situation im sure). And knowing what to do is great but knowing how to do it is another thing. How do i act in such a way that makes her think that my life will be fine, that i can live without her, that i dont need her, and that im in complete control.

Oh and yes i am currently reading DB