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It has been a great weekend. I got a lot done including all but one present bought. I also feel I got a lot of weight lifted off of me as I told all the people at my church meeting that these next two months will be hard. It was good to just let people know what is happening.

H asked yesterday about the property agreement and how much he would owe me, but I told him I wouldn't tell him anything. He will get the info soon. My brother looked over everything and he said it looks good so H should get it this week.

The car registration came in and it was sent to H at his parent's address. I never changed the address on my car so that upsets me and adds to my things to do this week.

Today was a great day. S and I played in teh snow for a bit. Then church went well. The kids are doing well on teh Christmas program so that is good. Then I went to my brother's. I brought over turkey noodle soup. We played monopoly and then played outside in the snow. Right now the house is clean, everything is shoveled and I am going to relax to start another week. Maybe a two hour delay tomorrow! I wish, but I am sure it won't happen, but I can always wish.

H text me last night about what his child support will be. He said he needs to plan ahead. This came after I asked when I would be getting the child support for this month from him. He talks like he has no money. I still don't understand how that can be. I know how much he takes home $966 every two weeks, which is $1932 a month. All the bills he has are $500 to me (for right now) and $200 to his college loan. He lives at home and has had to pay nothing for rent, a car loan, food (unless he goes out), etc for 9 months and before that he just paid for food and utilities for the 11 months before that. He should be able to save upwards of $1000 a month. I am not upset, just floored, and eye openning because as I said before H would always blame me for us never being able to save. I guess it wasn't me because I have saved quite a bit (meaning $100 or 200 a month when able) and I have $2500 in bills each month. I went from nothing in savings to a little something. It takes a while for it to grow, but I have something and really don't worry much, except when I have the extra bills like my L and registration. I just don't get it at all. Unless he has money and just doesn't want to touch it.

I finally just told him what the monetary settlement was. I told him the child support payment and that he owes me nothing and told him in a mean way. He said sorry for starting a fight, but this is a sore subject for me right now because I really felt this would be the only way H would get some punishment for treating me like poop for the past 2 years, but he still isn't getting anything. I am really struggling with that because I want him to understand what he did was wrong, but I really have to let that go and it is hard.

I have just really had it with H because he keeps trying to "help", and I don't want him help. He acts like a poor hurt puppy dog and he is the one who did the damage. I told him the car is getting fixed and again he said that I can have his car to drive. I told him that I don't need it but thank you for the offer, and he kept insisting. Everytime he talks to me about S, or picks-up S or drops him off, he asks what he can do or if I need anything. NO I need you to leave me alone. You don't get to be my friend anymore or get to help me or do things for me. We are over!

Sorry for all the venting, but he just urks me. He just doesn't get it.

Have you told him in these exact words? You could also tell him further what you do want from him ... child support, and polite co-parenting.

If it is over then it is so. I suspect it's the guilt that's making him want to help you.

I have a question. I just found out that I will get the child support in the form of a debit card. Do other states do this? Does anyone else have this already and can explain how it works?

I just wonder because I don't know how I am going to use this debit card to pay for things like the house, car, utilities, doctor bills, day care payment, etc. I understand I can use it on groceries and buying stuff, but I won't use all my child support a month on that and I wanted to put some of it away each month for a college fund for S.

That is so strange. Since it's a debit card I assume it comes with a pin. Wouldn't you be able to withdraw money against it? Is it drawn on a major bank?

I don't know the answer yet as I haven't talked to my L about it. I am hoping there is a PIN so I can withdrawal cash from it. I thought last night that maybe I can set it up so the daycare comes out of that account automatically, but I don't pay during the summer when I am off so I don't know...

I have also heard that it is like a prepaid visa so in that case I wouldn't.

My mom did some research and she said that there is a paper H can fill out so I can get the money directly depositted into my account. Still more I will have to look into, but I will do that tomorrow or Friday. Right now I am just busy, busy, busy.

I have had a shovel snow 4 times in three days. I usually wouldn't mind, but that is on top of many other things I have to do. Monday was a dentist appointment. Yesterday I had to go to the church's bank to do some stuff and the post office for stamps. Today is my physical. Tomorrow is normal church and hopefully Friday I can go grocery shopping, but one day I will get a call that I can get my car fixed so I will be without a car fora night. Saturday I am doing Christmas cookies and then going to my school's Christmas program, which is always good. Sunday is church and the last week before the Christmas program. Next week is pretty normal and luckily I have awesome friends because although it wasn't for me, they planned our annual Christmas party on the 17th so I will be busy. I have to go and set-up for the Christmas program. Then S will be dropped off at 7 and we will go to the party after.

the 18th I will also be busy with dress rehearsal in teh morning 9-10 then getting last minute stuff done and probably also going to clean, etc. Sunday is the Christmas program and then I have two weeks off.

I'm with Being here. Tell him straight up you don't want/need his help.



Yep, my sister's CS for her D is this way. Her ex puts the $ on the debit card and voila. It's pretty cool actually. And there is a PIN.

awest....you are WAY TOO BUSY!!! LOL! Just reading that made me feel like a total slacker.

So, I hope your 2 weeks off has no set plans and you can spend the time relaxing and enjoying yourself and your son.