So we have now been separated for 3+ months; and a few weeks since I started this thread; now I’m getting mixed signals from my wife.
Since the first post in this thread I have gone to dinner with my wife once or twice a week. We don’t talk about our relationship or reconciliation; just about everyday life, the baby, work, normal stuff.
She does seem to make it a point to tell me every time we meet that she isn’t dating anymore because she’s not happy with the types of guys she has dated. She always asks me if I’ve been dating; and when I tell her I am but that I don’t like the women much she always suggests a new way for me to find other woman I might like. I never bring up the conversation about dating other people.
She has been the one to always ask me to come to dinner, not me asking her. Normally she will say that she misses the baby (if I have her) and that I should bring her by for dinner, but will than add at the end that she misses me too. If she has the baby she will say the baby misses me so I should come to dinner, but again will add at the end that she misses me too.
Just the other day, after doing some research on the subject, I texted her and asked her opinion of how well she thought our daughter was developing and whether our Week on/Week off custody schedule (not legal yet, just doing it) is affecting her development. Her answer was that she didn’t want to think about it because it upset her, and added “What should we do, live together miserably just for the baby?”
She has given me the divorce papers from her lawyer for my review. I reviewed it and found several problems that are large enough that I just can’t red line the document and give it back to her. I expressed my issues, and she seemed to agree with me, she told me she would setup a meeting with her lawyer so that we could all talk it out and get the paper work right once rather than go back and forth. That was about a week and a half ago, maybe even two weeks now, and I haven’t heard anything since.
She asked me to dinner this past Friday; but suggested she use her baby sister so that we could go alone and get some drinks too. It was a nice night and after I went home she texted me to tell me that she thought it was fun.
I am going back to the house for the night tomorrow so that we can spend Christmas Eve together and Christmas mooring; it being the baby’s first Christmas. Just as a side note, I’ll then be taking the baby to my mother’s house because she always has a big party on Christmas. I invited my wife but she declined. So just now she called me on the phone to tell me when she would be off from work tomorrow and ask when I would be over. While we were saying good bye she says “Keep texting me”; this is an odd request because it didn’t need to be requested. We already texted regularly and I hadn’t given her any indication that I would stop. So trying to probe a little I asked what she meant by the odd request. Her answer was “Just because so we can talk” and I left it at that.
So what do you all think about this?
Should I bring up the conversation about our relationship or just continue to leave it alone?
Also since its that time of year should I get my wife an expensive Christmas present or a cheap one? If so what kind of gift?
Definitely agree, do not discuss the relationship. Focus on you, I sense she is discovering the grass is not greener. Keep working on yourself in multiple different ways. Do it for yourself, not for her. She will pick up on it, but only if it is genuine.
Stay positive, stay strong.
SF
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
