Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned ..

Take two ....

Welcome to the PAR-T!!!!

Hey all, c’mon in ... fix yourself a drink (the last bartender I had drank too much and passed the f@ck out in the corner ) ...

Gotta love the power of anger ... the energy that comes with it to focus and push forward ...

> Can’t do anything about work FOR NOW. Gotta pay the bills so have to refocus and make sure I keep the job until I’m ready to move on. Also need to remember to be grateful for the job I have, in PEI it’s a damn good one and a decent salary.

> Money is what it is ... I can afford groceries, my mortgage, my car payment ... I keep a roof over my kids heads and food in the fridge. Time to get a little more thrifty and use the financial knowledge I have to better our sitch. Baby steps.

> Business ... nothing to do here except get to gettin’ (nickle B-lady). No more excuses, just do it. Time management, discipline ... I know the drill ... time to stop TALKING about it and start DOING it.

> AntoniaB ... I know you’re right. Baby steps here too. I can only do what I can do, and that’ll have to do! I’m going to make a list of projects and start scheduling them in as well ... there’s that time management piece again.

> Love. Time ... space ... no crystal ball. Stop forward thinking and be grateful what I DO have in my life right now. Keep diggin and strengthing my core.

> PLC ... I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that my kids develop the skills they need to work through all of the emotional trauma they will see as they live their lives. In my daughter’s 7 years on this planet she has dealt with the sudden death of her cousin and now the separation of her parents. She’s talking ... open ... emotional and dealing ... I will never take for granted that my kids are coping. I will always be watching ... if there is anything I can do to help prepare them for life, give them coping skills and teach them emotional intelligence then I will do what I can.

> Can’t change or control his actions and choices. Unfortunately, the law only cares about actual physical danger to my kids not their emotional well being ... well, whatever. I need to focus on what I have any control or input into ... namely, the MC appt we have to talk about this very issue and the way I support my kids when they have questions/concerns etc about the ever evolving situation.

> Maybe it’s time to redefine my “white picket fence dream”. I have a good life. Period. If I want more ... well, I need to get off my ass and work for it. Is it what I had planned? Nope. Does that mean it’s bad? Also nope. Doesn’t matter what someone else has or doesn’t have (even H) ... I, and I alone, am responsible for my life, my happiness, my choices. I am where I am because this is where I need to be right now. If I want to attract positivity, happiness, abundance and gratitude into my life then I need to live it.

> This one is tough. Have to remember to try to pay it forward. Be as real as I possibly can be and hope that someday someone takes something away from my thread that helps them take steps forward ... the way I have taken so much from all of you. Pay it forward. Keep it real. Words to live by

It’s funny .... feels good to get it out ...

Just gotta keep dustin’ off ... keep on steppin’ ... get to gettin’ .... (you again B-lady) ...

Now where did I put my beer? Hey Bear ... may as well hand me another ...

Can I say "I LIKE" the second post better.

I think it's so valuable to write/type when you're having a hard time, though. Getting it out is really cathartic and in doing so, you ended up seeing a way to make a plan to pull yourself out of that hole. Good job!

P,
You know it's ok to vent off a little of this so cut

yourself some slack.

I know you well enough now that this is just a ripple

in the crazy world we LBS'rs are living right now.

If I would not hear of some of your struggles, I

would not know if you are able to conquer them.

And I believe you can.

I think we all have a long way to go on this journey.


'scuse me while I sip some red wine with Missher.


Now, think about where you would be without being here.

You have grown from the first day and you know there

is more room to grow.

The minute I start to feel sorry for myself I think of others

who have it much worse than me. Then it is not so hard anymore.

If Missher can firewalk, so can you. LOL.

Don't get caught up in to crossing every T. You know what is

important so work on those things first. The rest of the stuff

can wait. The last thing you want to add is self induced stress.

If more people could see that, the more they could learn how to

chill.

I know you know this anyway but I hear you on the things you

are talking about.

It is not like you don't have what it takes, you are light years

ahead of a lot of women in tackling things on your own.

How many women would have the b@lls to make it to Missher's

by themselves? No sweat for you. It was almost like it was

already a done deal the moment you heard about it. You sure

gave that impression to me.

BTW, I have taken much from your threads and it is truly a part

of me getting through this. You touch more people than you

realize. I am sure of that.

I do think it is good for you to lay it all out so you can ponder

it and feel like you have a foundation on which to build. Then

you can make little changes along the way.

But for now, tomorrow is Little Friday and that should help you

through today!!!

T,

You cycled. You know it and you dealt with.

I was thinking about your post...for you AND for me and many others.

Why do we cycle?

Is it just the “process”?

Why is it part of the process?

I may be wrong and Lord knows I am not a licensed therapist...

BUT I was thinking….maybe these cycle are a clue - a "hint" if you will.

A hint to look a little deeper at ourselves.

A hint to maybe take a look at something that really we are afraid to really look at

T, you and I are the same on many many levels….so maybe you can relate.

Is there something deeper T that you really need to face?

Maybe it is not something that you need to “fix” per se…maybe it is something that just needs to be acknowledged?

I am not sure BUT I know that deep inside yourself is the answer.

Maybe this was just a bad day – I’m sorry to say T – I don’t think so.

I think…you need to dig. You can do it.

Will you want to?

Keep writing….keep exploring…

Rip the fu*king mask right off.

Accept your fragilities

Accept your feelings

Accept YOU T….just the way you are.

BUT please find the cause…

Not to fix per se…just to accept and acknowledge.

In closing,

Your 2nd post was inspiring….

BUT I know you….

Knees may be a little wobbly right now….

BUT you know you got this… one more step honey…one more step…

Eric

PEI,

Toys break, memories last forever, or until Alzhiemers hits. Most people want or desire name brand big ticket items, meanwhile check out the second hand stores nearby for toys.

You'll never have the time if you do not make the time.

When sitting on the couch watching "Bones" after dinner, our youngest son asked out loud, "Why did you and Mom live in different houses?"

This is about 4 years later.

My wife and I looked at each other. I noticed our oldest while affecting a dis-interested teenager sloutch on the arm chair had pricked his ears up.

"We didn't really like each other very much at the time, but we both worked hard on ourselves and worked hard on being married."

"Oh," he said, "I am glad you did, I'm going to have to remember that."


PEI,

You're their template for later. They might have the classic building blocks for one later, but some people have the tools to avoid it.

PS - That deck is it going up or coming dowm?

If it is coming down, YOU can do that. Good for managing...venting your anger too.

Thank you WS. ^^^ this is the old me ... the perfectionist ... thanks for the reminder!



I LOVE the irony in that statement and thanks . You are right, it was absolutely a done deal for me, no question. I was there before it even existed!



Sure does buddy
Thank you
Peace
PEI

Exactly what my business mentor reiterated to me last night. Make the time and then USE it wisely.


Exactly. Making a conscious effort to try to teach the tools ... and you're right, monkey see ... monkey do ... my example is my best teaching tool.

Thanks
PEI

DOWN! Good point ... looks overwhelming ... but if I focus on a 1/2 hour a day instead of the amount of work to be done ...

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go ....