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My in-laws are skeptical of all religion, so they are kind of put off by my W's conversion.

They kind of figuratively roll their eyes at my W's outspoken embrace of Christianity. They see it as very hypocritical given her behavior.

My MIL thinks most of this is the OM's influence, and that her daughter is changing just for him. I don't think she thinks it is a phase, but she is not really excited about it at all. Neither of my in-laws went to my W's baptism. They did have other plans that day, but I'm sure they would not have been very comfortable attending.

In a nutshell, they think their daughter is not well. They've tried to give her advice, but my W claims she is happy and doesn't need any help.

Journaling:

Yesterday my W picked up the kids for our weekly swap-out, and lingered a bit. We had a very nice interaction. She was cheerful and friendly. It was very refreshing to see, and I found myself thinking, "Man, this is the old W that I enjoyed".

I can't help but think if she was like she was yesterday and asked to come back, I would probably let her. But that is not going to happen. It is rare to see her like she was yesterday.

Kids are still doing great, but I worry about them. Months ago I asked them to "include a prayer for Mommy" along with their nightly prayers. This week my middle son asked why they keep saying a prayer for Mommy. I just told him it is so that she feels better, and added "you want her to come home, don't you?" He nodded yes, then said "But Mommy said she's never coming home." I told him, "Well, that's why you say a prayer."

He asked "What is she so upset about?" I just told him I didn't know, and left it at that. I didn't want to throw Mommy under the bus.

I realized I probably shouldn't pretend they aren't concerned and don't have questions. I need to make sure they know they can ask me anything.

More Journaling:

W called me today all excited and fired up because the company she interviewed with and was supposed to have more follow up interviews with has decided to make her an offer. On top of that, she got calls from 2 other places expressing interest.

She was obviously happy about it and said "So we'll finally have some money coming in" (We've both been job hunting for a few months now, and although we are not in any financial difficulty, it feels like it since we are both pretty frugal and operate like we have no savings). I congratulated her and told her I was happy for her.

I just found it amusing that she would talk about "us" having money coming in; especially since she knows I got a lawyer. I would think this would ease her mind and finally free her to get the divorce she wants.

I guess she is still thinking she'll ride the limbo. I'm waiting on the paperwork from my lawyer and have not spoken to her about it. We've not talked about time frames or discussed any financial arrangements. Me handing her the papers will be the initiation of that, I'm sure, since she's made no effort whatsoever in driving any legal action. All she has done is read books and attend church classes on handling divorce.

Always following along, Pigskin.

Who knows what they are thinking; we're not supposed to even try to figure that out.

You're right, she would stay in limbo as long as you let her. I'm glad you are taking the proper steps to protect yourself and to get out of limbo. It's no way to live your life.

Take care.

IDU

I think that sometimes the LBS has to initiate the legal stuff, otherwise the WAS will just float along. And sometimes the legal stuff is a useful dose of reality.

Limbo is just a five letter word for Hell though.

GBWY, Pigskin

This is off track but there is so many that got the bomb dropped on fathers day this year, same with me well it was June 8th but she left for good on fathers day, then fighting me tooth and nail to be with my two kids.

Thanks pinhead.

I agree, I think the WAS has trouble pulling the trigger because it means they walked away AND put the nail in the coffin of the marriage. With the LBS doing the legal work, they may feel somewhat left off the hook and can always later claim that they would have patched things up.

I don't think it will be a wake up call to my W, regardless of how well she may be acting now. There's always the voice in the back of your head that says, "Maybe hold off just a bit longer, things may come around." But I am marching forward, and trusting in God to take care of everything out of my control. So far that has eliminated anxiety on my part.

I know that my wife feels like the bad guy. She hates when I use the phrase "you're leaving..." So I think you're right about her footdragging being part of avoiding blame/guilt.

In fact, that makes me want to do a 180; I'm usually very impulsive, and moving the process along might be the wrong thing. I should make her find a mediator, make her come up with a division of assets, etc. etc.

Someone once said "don't resist, but don't assist either."

Maybe that's wrong, and I should stick to my original plan of telling her to get out ASAP. I could combine the two; tell her to get out, and make her do the work.

Pigskin,
Just thinking about you. I have no advice for you. Your trials have really helped me in my relationship with my Mom. Mom is a hardshell Baptist who has been married four times. She's had some pretty unsavory relationships in between. Watching your sitch has helped me see how she colors things with religion and not faith or love.

Stay strong. My students are *always* asking me if I believe in God. I tell them that it doesn't matter if I believe in God, he believes in me.

SpinFree

Thanks for the kind words, spinfree.