Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

as someone rasised Catholic, who received my First Holy Communion at age 8 and the mother of 2 boys raised Lutheren who received their First Communion at ages 8 and 9 respectively, I think he can bite my ass when he says kids that age don't understand.

tell him it doesn't matter what he thinks...that GOd and your son are the only ones who can judge when your son is ready
and
they decided on their time!!!

Oh I love you guys!!! Thanks for making me feel better. I agree in general that he needs to suck up and deal with the fact that his lack of involvement = lack of a hand in decision making. I just put myself in his place and realized I would be upset if he had started Nathan on communion without me. But then, I have to remember I am the one who has taken the kids to Sunday school and Bible school consistently throughout this. Not Dan.

And yeah taking pics of your junk, paying women to strip, and f*cking other women when you are married don't exactly equal pillar of virtue. Maybe I just should have replied, "He who is without d!ck pics, cast the first stone"

Yeah not too virtuous of me! I did include the cherry picking thing in my email reply yesterday. And he has not brought it up again.

Ok so I don't know if I mentioned this, but when I dropped the kids with Dan last Weds, Sydney had her new hat/mitten combo I had bought that week to go with her new coat. Nathan had his new Star Wars stocking cap.

Go figure, he droppped them at church Sunday and there were no hats or gloves for either. I texted him about it and Monday he brought Nathan's hat and gloves to basketball. I asked about Sydney's and he said I never sent them to him and was convinced I had lost them somewhere. I let it go...

Well she needs gloves for school, so I sent an old pair yesterday and she lost them somewhere... So today she is out of gloves again. On a whim I text MIL (her house is full of my kids' things that never return) and ask if she has seen Sydney's new polka dot hat and mittens. She immediately replies "Yes they are here. Do you want me to bring them to school?"

Well by then I had bought mitten set #3 so I told her to just give them to Dan tonight. I actually laughed to myself...I am not mad about it, I find it funny bc everything winds up at MIL's house. And here Dan insisted he would buy his own stuff for the kids and not only does he NOT get them winter stuff but he loses mine... ah well.

Heading out soon for counseling and weekly weigh-in. After 7 long weeks I think I finally passed the 10 pound loss mark! He keeps telling me slow and steady is the way to go, but I wish I could be one of those Biggest Loser people and lose 8-10 pounds in a week. Granted for my size that is unrealistic but 3 pounds would be fabulous! Oh well I will just be glad I lose 1.5/week. It's better than gaining!!

Best. Line. Ever.

SD

I *totally* agree with Sandy. He manages to find one way or another to keep you engaged and connected to him. And it's usually him trying to find faults in everything you do. That's emotional and verbal abuse. You have to start pushing back and I wish you'd said something about the d*ck pics- now that would've been awesome!

Yay on losing 10lbs! 1.5lbs per week is pretty good!

Thanks guys! Yeah, ten pounds is good I just need to accept the whole 'slow and steady' thing.

I am feeling like crud! I had a sore throat when I woke up yesterday. Not red but sore. Then my ear started hurting last night. Today I have intermittent ear ache, sore throat all the time (getting worse actually), and my voice has been getting weaker all day. Right now I sound like Peter Brady when he went through puberty!

HG has been...consistent, I suppose. We both said up front that our kids are priority #1. The first time he asked if he could call me I told him my D was having a hard time falling asleep so I needed to get her to bed, he could call the next night. He said he appreciated that my kids were my priority.

So since then, and since our 2 dates, he has texted about every other day, and only called me the one night he knew I did not have my kids. We talked Weds for about 45 minutes and then we both needed to go to bed. He said, "OK, well let's stay in touch and we will find a time when our schedules work out to get together again." I said that sounded good, I had fun when we were out and thought it would be great to get together.

It is good, I just fight the urge to giggle when he says "We'll be in touch" because any time we talk (at the end of date 1, 2, and now the phone call) that's the phrase he uses. I almost feel like I am on an interview! Not really but it just strikes me funny. However I like that he is not overly aggressive or trying to get into my pants. At the same time, a little lighthearted flirting or compliments would be nice!

Oh and Golfer told me he was coming down this weekend and wanted to see me. He was coming for the Big 12 game to watch at a friend's house. It is so terrible but I was more interested in the thought of going to friend's house (high school classmate of ours) and seeing all the people there than seeing G. I did tell him I had my kids this wknd. Then today he texted that maybe he should come next weekend instead... Guess I need to tell him I don't really want to go out again. Ugh.

OK off to drink some tea for this throat...

So, sometimes I wonder why I keep posting here...my marriage wasn't saved and I've been divorced for almost 10 months. Wow time flies!

But I guess I still like to put things down on paper, so to speak, to journal about how I am doing.

Dan has been pretty decent lately. He has only sent one crabby text this week and I replied in a way that shut it down before it got started.

Yesterday we actually went to see Santa together with the kids. It was totally drama-free, unexpectedly...we met at Bass Pro bc they had a 10 minute wait the past two years. Granted we went on a weeknight. I got there, sick as a dog, almost no voice and I had been throwing up all morning. But I pulled it together and took the kids bc I promised they would see Santa. Got there and it was a 2 hour wait!

Normally this would hack Dan off & he'd figure out a way to blame me for picking that place. This time I just said, "Let's try the mall" bc a lady said there was no wait at the mall, they had been there, but came to Bass Pro bc her kids needed some stuff to buy there.

He just said, "Sure it doesn't matter where we go as long as we see Santa." So we drove (separately) to the mall and there was only one person in line! So it was quick and painless....then we walked to the Barnes and Noble and looked at books w/the kids for about 25 minutes. They headed to pay for books and I looked around for a bit and found some books I wanted. Took them to the Starbucks in the store to pay and get coffee and Dan and kids showed up right behind me to get drinks. So I got an extra hug from both the kids. Nice to have a drama free experience!

Long story I will maybe tell later...but I did wind up seeing HG this weekend as well. Got to see him in scruff mode (workout pants, sweatshirt, baseball cap and unshaven) and I have to say he is even cuter looking that way than he is when he cleans up! Still not so much as a kiss but I really don't mind, I like him enough that I would prefer to go slooow and not rush into anything or screw anything up.

Oh and my preschool kids are so cute! I sound like Jim Carey doing Vera Demilo today, and they actually thought I was trying to sound weird? They kept asking "Miss Bobbi, why are you talking so funny?" Ummm...yeah....cause I WANT to sound like a man???

Oh, and yay me! Forgot to mention that, even being sick, I managed to to the following this weekend Fri-Sat:

1)Go shopping with kids for a REAL Christmas tree, found a place to deliver it, and got it home by Saturday. (See I don't need Dan's truck!)

2)Called my BIL and asked him to set up the extension ladder for me so I could replace the broken string on lights on my roof. He stood up the ladder but then insisted on changing the string for me.

3) Put the lights on my Christmas tree. I know that is silly, but Dan has put the lights on our tree every year the past 13 years--even last year after he moved out! And he put up the lights for me last year, too.

So it may not have been a MAN free Christmas decorating event, but it was a DAN free one! So yay for progress....

Funny, I was able to get my tree in the Honda without putting the seats down. You should be glad HG didn't kiss you, well, because you are sick hon.

I'm not sure if I am much use to people here anymore. Often I just talk about my day to day issues which occasionally involve ex. I do want to pay it forward...all the help I have been given. I know I am friends with the ones I talk to most via various secret methods but I am still drawn here to help if I can.

Karma, I hope she is nice when she visits and hopefully soon. I would love a wonderful ending to a so so year.

kat

Wow Kat! I have no clue how I would get a 6.5 foot frasier fir into my Toyota! Actually I would never even try, my new car is not going to be holding a Christmas tree!

And yes it makes total sense that HG did not kiss me given the circumstance. I can hardly believe I even went to see him Sat night given I had 15% of my voice. Hard to spend time talking when you can't talk! I look forward to seeing him again when I am healthy!

However, not sure when that will be. I may have to cave and go to the doctor tomorrow. I am just so stubborn!

But, it's been a week now. Last Tues-Thurs I had a sore throat and earache. Then Friday I started losing my voice, Saturday it was gone entirely, Sunday was a hodge podge with half my voice. Today I have a voice but it is soooo low. And I have a sore throat again, with cough?? Sheesh it's like spin the wheel and pick your symptom around here from day to day...the cough is irritating me though, cause it's new...