Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I think its over help pls

Are you addressing her complaints because she complained ?

Or because you want to ?

I would agree that getting a job would be #1 on my list.

It sounds as if you are putting all of the communication problems on her...

Because I want to I have been trying to change the way I do things always we have a busy house I have always admitted she is better at it than I am but injury led to current employment status. However it also enabled her to pursue her career and education. I have an income she never directly complained I was apparently suppossed to be psychic. Now she had an. EA/PA and wants out we have 5 kids. We have income from me and she made her job choice and says she would have made the same if I was ft working. I have ft income. She wont talk about the A I think she is just done with me she still contacts om or tries. A former friend. Some things she says she was unhappy about she never actually complained about she holds it all in and still does. I am willing to work through this I think she is done and. Would rather be with OM. Who is supposedly trying to fix things with his wife. She appears miserable she keeps contacting OM . Dont know how or if I should fight for this marriage.

I am addressing issues because I want to I have an income and the youngest just started school. Injury is reason behind my employment status however it has an income and has allowed my spouse to pursue her career which every move she made was her choice. She has still always had plenty of time for what she chooses. She never let on she was unhappy we had been getting along great around the time this supposedly began.
communication problems, yeah she held it all in she even straight out said she should not have had to directly tell me when something was wrong. I would love to save this supposedly OM is done but W is I think still in love with OM. Feeling hopeless she is looking to move we have young kids.

Why is there the tell everyone about the affair theory vs the keep it quiet theory I feel like telling everyone what they did rt now.

Because some of the folks have had a great deal of success ending their spouses affair by outing the affair. What may not have told you is they haven't repaired their marriage. It is rarely part of the repair the marriage/bring more love into your marriage.

Don't you want your wife to really really love you? I know you do. I know you feel hopeless and want to cling to ANYTHING, because these guys so strongly pursuade you to man up and do that...and Michele herself isn't on this board.

If you out her, you will need a very strong arsenal of love to bring her back.

Why not protect her, find a way to get her back...because she's into you. I know you are worthy. I KNOW you can do this!

YOU are the man. You have loved her longer and better than anyone, and instincively, YOU know what has gone wrong. YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH to fix it without ratting her out.

I want to fix it she does not EA turned short PA she's still emotionall in it says her love was dying a long time ago I tossed out 5 years once she half acknowledged it youngest is 6 . She wants to move out I just expressed how deep my love is and has been she teared up. I think she is in love with om he told her again last night it's done she is set on leaving she want to find a place first. I don't know there is any brining her back her head is still in the. EA/PA I believe I can forgive. I just expressed myself from the heart and she teared up. Don’t know how to proceed. I want to save this 4 kids to raise still.

Just don't press. Now is the time to DO NOTHING. It's really doing something. Just sit on it.

We are about 8 weeks. Since d day I just got all emotional tonight, I did not say anything irrational. This was a couple hours ago she teared up and she's been stoic. OM! Was in contact last night om spouse says om says he told myW off?? Supposedly the A is over. MY W is looking for a place to move to.

Whatever her complaints about you there is no excuse for her to cheat. I think she has lost respect for you partially because of the employment situation, that is the first thing to be rectified.

Secondly, you need to GAL. I joined one of those meetup.com groups. It was almost comical how quickly my W wanted to suddenly start going with me to them. I mean heaven forbid there might be females who I might start chatting to. Bear in mind until then she constantly refused to go on dates with me.

Let your W watch the kids for a change, dress up, go out, meet new people

I'm not saying to go out and get laid, but socially interact with new people, get your cell phone blowing up with texts from your new found friends, watch and observe how curious she suddenly becomes.

The reality of the situation is that any long term OM is going to run 15 miles once faced with the reality of a married woman with 5 kids. This is why she needs to move out but you must not do anything to financially enable her. This is her choice so she needs to finance it

50/50 childcare arrangement is what you want, good luck to her finding an apartment big enough for 5 kids! Maybe one week of, one week on? This is the only way for her to sniff the new reality. She may or may not come running back to you? Either way you will be fine !!

Is now the time to take action though. She has found out what she can afford. She wants to buy she says she is serious but avoids D discussion. She/we is supposed to have a seperation plan ready for next week for councillor to go over. I do not want to traumatize kids right at the holidays. Should I just back off more for the next month? Observe report note what's going on and go from there. Or as just suggested to me by an L start the D paperwork. I really want to save this I believe I can get over it.
Does not stopping the kids from waking her up anymore count as a 180 when she thinks they wont miss her?