When your H finds the right medication and his depression lifts....it should make a huge difference. I hope he won't give up. I was on several before I found one that worked for me.
Just MHO, but I believe in order for MC to help, both partners needs to be on board and very willing to work together. If he's not willing then it's like dragging a dead man on a chain.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks for all the input guys! Things have really been going well. We have actually stopped going to counseling as it was making things worse and I have been using the strategies outlined in DB. H went out with some friends last week and came home and thanked me for being "so awesome" through all of this and stated he knew he was "crazy" and he had a lot of things he needed to work on. This was a big change from the previous conversations where he basically said everything was my fault and he thought I was unsupportive and emotionally abusive (which is way out of left field). I just listened and said thanks for not laying all of our problems at my feet but there were things I realized I need to work on and change. I have been following all the great advice you guys have given me and it is working. I feel so much better about my marriage and myself. I know we have a long road ahead of us but I no longer feel terrified he is going to walk out the door. Each day is better than the last I do have some questions; he is still not as affectionate as before and I don't know if I should initiate physical contact or not. We used to always kiss good bye and hold hands. I don't want to seem desperate but he would always initiate it so know would it be a 180 for me too some of the time?
I do have some questions; he is still not as affectionate as before and I don't know if I should initiate physical contact or not. We used to always kiss good bye and hold hands. I don't want to seem desperate but he would always initiate it so know would it be a 180 for me too some of the time?
He could feel a bit pressured, but IDK, I think you have to read body language, etc. Remember, baby steps.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
you could always try the cheesy move like a quick hug or kiss or touch , then kinda laugh and say "oopps sorry felt right at the time", or "sorry, habit" then see what he says.
Might work, might not but you could try
Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
