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After 10 weeks of ups and downs I am here. Sitch
M-49
W-38
No kids together
2 teens live with me from 1st M
M-9 yrs
lived together 5 yrs
Bomb labor day 2010
W moved out the next week to apt
Week 4 we start seeing M Co
Week 5 she still seeing OM
week 6 I drop D bomb since she is involoved
Week 7 OM gone we start dating
This week she is getting key to her place made for me.

Not sure what to say here. The first time I was here 10 yrs ago with my 1st W I failed miserably at Db. I guess I nned some pointers on letting go of the past few weeks and really I miss her at night even though we talk on the phone . I will see her tonite but I miss the evry day and she says she does too.

Good morning AT,
Wow. Your head must be spinning. That's quite the synopsis. I'm sorry but I haven't followed your sitch in newcomers; wanted to welcome you here though. Things have moved rather quickly, no? How long has it been, between your week 7 and now? That wasn't just last week, was it?

No about 3 weeks. we have spent weekends together since and have been making plans for her s's wedding together and spending thankdgiving too. Yes it did happen quickly like she had to get away to get perspective.

So what do you think was the no kidding reason she decided to work on you two?

Good question. And, are you still going to MC. I think a lot of folks here have a bad taste in their mouths from counselling, but honestly I fear where I would have ended up this year without it, (no matter what it's done to my savings). I was getting pretty depressed.

I think what it was is the fact that the guy she met was an escape and when she realized that I was going to leave the M for good she decided it was not what she wanted. we are going to MC but have to make an appoint for next weeek. She got me a key made for her place, told me to stop by anytime if I am waiting for her. I have slept at her place a couple times, no odd phone calls or anything? She tells me she loves me, missed me and likes that we are starting "over" again and we are communicating well.
She has not put her rings on yet but she is staying at our house this weekend as we have her GS's B-day party to go to. Its been real fun so far but the mortgage on the house still looms as the mortgage co is dragging their feet on helping me out.
I can't depend on her right now as she has a year lease.
I am even on call this weekend and told her she may want to spend the W/E with friends and she refused, wants to hang with me!! If you would have told me that weeks ago I would have said no way. Seems the 38 YO party girl life fizzled pretty quick..

M-49
W-38
No kids together
2 teens live with me from 1st M
M-9 yrs
lived together 5 yrs
Bomb labor day 2010
W moved out the next week to apt
Week 4 we start seeing M Co
Week 5 she still seeing OM
week 6 I drop D bomb since she is involoved
Week 7 OM gone we start dating
This week she had a key mad for me for her Apt.

Sounds like whatever you're doing is working! Glad to hear you're communicating - are you talking about the conflict or issues you had prior, that led to the split? For example, what exactly were the issues that she was using the other guy as an 'escape' from?


The grass is always greener... until you hang out there for a while.

My biggest issue right now is the living apart. Also I am trying to get the house we lived in refied and its not easy. She lives across town from me now and I hope in a year she will want to move back home. But what if she does not? I don't know if I want a couple times a wee and weekend GF?

Keep going Ato. You can do it!

Well, try not to cross that bridge before you come to it. A lot can be done in a year. It's gotta be hard but I'm thinking good thoughts for patience for you! I fear you trying to rush her along, and miss the opportunity to sort out the conflicts that led to your disconnect and split.