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Originally Posted By: beatrice
if we aren't careful these MLCers take over our headspace all too easily

My experience exactly.......it's unhealthy. That's why I cancelled dinner this week-have to use the opportunity given to me to back off a little.

Originally Posted By: beatrice
My court date has been postponed again, at a matter of days notice, with the weirdest letters coming from my h's side as to the 'reasons' for this. [quote=beatrice] As you predicted!

[quote=beatrice]He seems to have found lawyers as strange as he is.

This really made me laugh!

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Originally Posted By: Creed
Of course this MIL is saying OWis the right one for your H. To say she isn't is saying your H screwed up...and most MIL would put their head in blender before admitting their child is not perfect, or doesn't have every reason in the world for acting like WAS usually do.

She has said he was wrong in the past but now there's a turn around. She's tired of the drama, tired of being supportive so now it's time to blame me. She has made ow the right fit so she can live with herself in moving forward with h, and ow. She needs me out of the way or at least silenced cos I remind her of the pain this causes. Let her join 'Team Affair'. She is totally contradicting everything she's said she believes in. Such is life.

Originally Posted By: Creed
A male role model..who has both feet on his ground is definitely a positive for your son right now.

Fortunately, I have three wonderful brothers and a great Dad so my kids don't lack in positive role models.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Creed.

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I've kept my silence. I have some surgery coming up. I got a text from H last night to ask if it would be next week (not sure where that idea came from) and I replied and nothing more.

It was race day and h and ow and some others have had a big day at the races each year. Not this year, though........

Feeling so much better for that space.

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Originally Posted By: Cas05
I have some surgery coming up.

Cas, I don't remember you mentioning that before. I hope it's nothing serious. Do you have a surgery date scheduled?

GAG

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GAG, I probably haven't mentioned the surgery; just another part of my complicated life story!!! This is my 10th surgery in five years. This one is a preventative measure though so no real urgency. I haven't booked it yet......have to see the surgeon again first but work and uni has been so crazy I haven't had a minute to plan it all.

H just sent me a message to see if the accountant had done my tax yet. I said no and asked why he wanted to know and he said cos his was also lodged but not yet done. Don't know if it was a genuine curiosity about the tax, an attempt to start conversation or to gauge my friendliness. I answered the question but gave nothing more. Just waiting to see if he'll initiate any action either legal or social.

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Cas,

Does H need your tax numbers to complete his? When is your tax deadline? Your thoughts sound reasonable.

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No he isn't reliant on me in any way for tax and the deadline is ages away. It's just that we use the same accountant.

Today H sent me another job to look at and asked for tips to improve his letter/resume. I feel like forwarding his email to MIL and saying, "See it was H, not me!!"

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Hi Cas,

Your H values your opinion and tips on jobs and resumes.

I was wondering if your career involves employment counseling
or some other job marketing skills.

I am trying to figure out why H keeps coming to you for this...

My instinct is to help him for the simple fact that he is reaching out to you. On the other hand, I am worrying that he is simply using your skills because he can.

My hope is that he is reaching out to you.

My fear is that he is taking advantage of you.

What are you going to do?

I have been reading a lot of posts by 25yearsMLC and she recently wrote to a poster "Be a woman only a fool would leave".

I find her posts very interesting reading. She is a lawyer who got her marriage back.

About me for a second: I am beginning to get sick to my stomach with nerves. My anxiety has me all messed up the closer I get to Friday. frown Right now I am planning to take the day off from work. Thanks for letting me use your thread.

Hugs for you,

Sanderika


ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11
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Hi Sanderika,

I've been thinking of you and sending you positive vibes and wishes for peace. I know this is such a challenging time for you. Keep posting here even after Friday because we'll all be interested to see how you get on. Know that we're all sending you virtual hugs and support, too!

As per the resume. H was always the mathematician and I was the English person. He always handled finances and I always handled the correspondence. Nothing much has changed in that regard. He still helps me with my tax and any other financial advice I need. (He doesn't have access to my financials though or make financial decisions for me.)

I don't work in recruiting although I am involved in recruiting and selection at work.

Usually I look at the resume/letter straight away and send it back promptly so he can email it promptly. This time I'll leave it overnight. He knows I am online cos of skype so he may be surprised by my lack of response. I am quite happy to do the job stuff as he has done quite a lot to help me recently.

It appears that H is still happy in communication with me. This time it's me that has taken the step backwards!

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Cas some times self presevation is the way to go! its a tool i use frequently even though back with H. Before I'd be like a terier with a rat and keep at it again and again and usually getting no where! Honestly i find stepping away a far more effective tool.. he seems to wonder more what im thinking when im quiet than nagging his ears off..

If he is taking advantage he will not pursue contact, he if really wants your company he will find a way to do that..

Sanderika you are in my thoughts, do stay I know Im not around as much as I'd like, work is so busy and they have just banned our internet use so by the time i get home im too tired to use my shiny new laptop!

I am always thinking of you both

Rabbit
xx


____________________________

W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!
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