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Grit


I am living this ^^^ feeling daily, my friend.

Here is where our truth begins....

What do we want for OURSELVES.

Happiness, peaces, this much we KNOW....

Who is Grit, when no one else is around and the boards are NO MORE? Who is this man?

What would HE DO?

Very tough questions BECAUSE, the old Grit can still rear his head from time to time, yet the new Grit lives his live in truth, honor and diginty.

What would the NEW (and improved I might add) Grit do?

I suspect he would...

Ponder....
Pray....
Seek council and guidance from his trusted friends (the ones that he truly opens up to)
Relax
Consider multiple possibilities
Look inside and graple with the internal struggle
Challenge himself
Test his thoughts and feelings agains the new Grit
Pray some more
Ponder some more

And then...

He would do what in his heart HE BELIEVES to be HIS TRUTH...

Nothing that anyone would say to him would matter...cause he knows himself. He has examined himself more than ever and he now KNOWS...

That he has become the MAN that he wanted to be...

The answer to the question you have is really inside of YOU my friend - Are you strong enough to really look at it and ACCEPT it?

I know in my heart you are!

Your a good man Grit (Purple wearing tutu and all)...

That fact will not change no matter what you decide...

Continue to ponder my friend....these decisions should not be made lightly and even when they are made....

YOU can CHOOSE to change YOUR mind...

Cause at the end of the day, this is YOUR life

Live it to the fullest.

I pray that God give you the insight and strength to do what YOU feel is best for YOU and YOUR W.

God Bless,
Eric

Grit the only thing that I can add to what Eric wrote is that you found out that your wife was wearing a mask the whole time you were married.
Now the mask is slipping and you are getting to see behind it.
So you are questioning and mindreading, very natural if I may say.

It should be no surprise that she had a mask, and it should not really change anything about YOU!

Very true...

And so the question I have for me now...

Who is my W?

What is she capable of?

Are her values and integrity aligned with someone I would choose to be with?

I don't know...

Eric- Great post man. Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to remind myself.

Gritter sir,

I totally think you are capable of dealing with whatever comes

your way. Dude! Your W is desperate and can only get the reaction

she wants from the people she talks to if she paints the picture

this way. You sir, know the truth. You are now getting more bits

and pieces of "all will be revealed". IF you and your wife ever

get back together again, you have got some of this in your head

now filed in the back of your mind. IF she eventually does share

what she was going through, it will make perfect sense to you

when that time comes IF it comes.

But for now, Grit my friend, I know this will eventually just be

a little bump in the road. We are all being tested.

You already know this. Whether it ends up with your W I don't

know. But you will be one h3ll of a man for whomever comes your

way. That woman will truly be a lucky gal.

WS

Grit....

I know you know the answers...

Just remember...

A person is only capable of giving outwardly, what they are feeling inwardly...

How does this new information change anything that you didn't already know ?

When you read to not believe anything they say...It also means what they tell friends ....

Get out of the dump truck !!!!!

^^^ I soooooo totally relate to this man.

And you know what? I ain't gonna thump ya for sain' so.

For both of you.
Whomever they are right now is not who they will be when the crisis ends.
To judge them while in the storm is a mistake IMHO.

Tell you what, from my experience, they come out of a Life Crisis fragile, the same person they were before they went in.

Oh...


except now they have all this horrible crap they did and said, they have to live with as well. And wondering how in the world anyone they treated so badly would want them back.

A codependant person would take them back, well because they NEED them.

A white knight will rescue them and take them away from all the pain.

A husband will work with her to rebuild some things, her self esteem, trust and a realtionship.

Lance,

Their questions, are normal...

They HAVE to weigh this out...

We all know the crisis, can go on for a very very long time and sometimes, it never ends...

In finding answers to these questions right now, they are taking steps for themselves.

It does not mean they are judging who their S's are, as a lifelong sentence to something...

It means that they are looking at the situation as it stands in the moment and seeing how they feel about it...

How it aligns with who they are becoming...

Thank for this Jack.

This is how I feel. This is me.

This is who will decide how long, if, when and why.

I was the white knight and then when I could not rescue I became resentful.

That guy did say some horrible things and made bad choices.

That guy is way back on these pages.

I was struggling with that part of it. That part reconciling whether this person who I might never even have known for real

who is my W, could be person I want to be with.

The person I want to be knows there are no guarantees.

He knows that fear is part of my old M. My old self.

And so are all the things that happened because of it.

As always we have to live these things for them to truly become part of us.