Well, dang it! The woman that lives a little far away (about an hour) isn't wanting to give that a try. I can't blame her, though I was going to try to do the work, at least in the near term. I'm disappointed, she had a really nice combination of intelligence and humor. And we spent two hours having great conversation.
I've turned down some guys for the same reason.... I know I can't drive an hour so for a sustainable relationship it doesn't work for me..... when the kids are grown... no problem! ;-)
Her loss.....next!
I tried to say that I would do the driving, since I can drive an hour. It takes me nearly a half hour to get anywhere to begin with. I think she has a bit of a practical side, darn it! She really is focused on her son, I am not sure she is really dateable right now. There's no way I can compete with an eight year old!
Any mother worth her salt SHOULD be focussed on her child. That is her most important job. But if she wants to date then she has to set aside a little bit of time to do so.
As for the driving thing. Josh and I live 90 min apart. We make the effort. In our nearly 7 years together we have rarely missed a weekend together. Finally we have bought a house together but still cannot live there 24/7 due to job contraints - but we make it work.
I don't recommend the long drive when there is a child involved but anything worth having is worth working for.
Well it would be very different for me if EXH ever had the kids. Then I could be free to do those kind of things when they were on his time. That won't be happening so I have to be real about it.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Oh, I never meant to even come close to suggesting that I would even want to be a higher priority than her son! I think that her mindset right now is that that she can't do both. I think she thought she could, but has changed her mind. She dropped off if Match (between when I contacted her and when we met) as well. I'm not sure that distance is really the issue. Someday, she will be a catch, though, in my opinion.
IR, you should have no problems if you write the way you did about your new girlfriend the other day.
If you think the writing was impressive...
Seriously though I'm not doing this whole internet dating stuff. It feels so artificial and crafted, so easy to pick and choose like you're sampling color pallettes. I'd rather be walking along the beach watching the sunset when I notice someone that catches my eye. Our eyes meet, smiles break out along with her blushing. I walk up to her and say 'hi...beautiful sunset isn't it? I'm R BTW' she smiles 'I'm Annie, nice to meet you R'. 'Well Annie, I always wondered why the sunset was so colorful, I just never saw you before'. Then out of no where the music starts 'Annie are you ok, annie are you ok are you ok annie...you've been hit by, you've been hit by- a smooth criminal'
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
LOL Romeo. I hear you on how wierd internet dating is. For me it was a no-brainer though. I never meet unattached men in roughly my age group. I would have been waiting for a LONG time for that beach scene. Guitarist was just saying tonight that he wishes that he had met me on the beach, but my thought is that we two unattached people who live close to one another and have great chemistry could have never met...what a shame.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
desert_rat, it sounds like she might not be ready. But long distance is an issue, esp when you have a child living at home. Guitarist is coming over more often in the evenings, but of course he is not at all around when the kids are awake. That would be a lot harder to manage if there was an hour of driving each way -- it would really limit already limited opportunities to get together, which would be a shame.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I am with flowmom, online dating may be weird, but it's way better than no dating!
Quote:
desert_rat, it sounds like she might not be ready. But long distance is an issue, esp when you have a child living at home.
In the end, the why doesn't matter. It was going to be a challenge. And, really, with her youngster, it's going to be a challenge for her anyway. From my end, I wish we could give it a go. But, it's far from the end of the world!
"Call me grammar grouch but if you cannot compose a sentence, move along! And I loathe text-talk in a profile (i.e. Lookin 4 gd grl 2 spend time w, y not take a chance). Just, don't."
I had to put in my profile that I am an English teacher and can't tolerate text speak! It was making me insane!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
