The trip to Houston was short but fun. If our D had been in a better mood (clingy, crying and contrary) it would have been great. But she has been very unlike herself since Thursday. I don't know if she picks up something in the air or she is just being 4...
Last night, however I had a bit of a sad moment. We passsed by the jeweller's and they had a clearance, so I told H 'why don't we go tomorrow and pick up your ring in case they are closing shop?' He answered he had already picked it up which means he has picked it up and he is not wearing it It is one way of detaching, I know, but I did not like that. Made me sad but not angry... I should have expected it...
Anyway, I picked myself up by the bootstraps and got ready for today. He turns 43 and did not want a big party. So I have invited another couple of friends only and that way we will sit down and talk politics and how to fix the world.
I fixed breakfast for him this morning in a tray in bed and gave him a nice hand-painted card with legend that says 'I will go anywhere provided that it is forward.' Inside, I copied the Wayfarer poem and added "Happy Birthday, my love" He did not comment on it but I guess he read it.
(He had already had his present: a 1 in 10 games table, that ended up being broken and we have to exchange)
I called him later to ask him about the menu and he'll pick up the cake. He seems to be in a horrible mood but I've kept upbeat and happy. I do think he is detaching too...
Tomorrow is Sunday...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Great job. It is so important to keep your spirits up despite you H's. Recently I was in a SH(* mood and H picked up on it and pretty much shut down and did not want to share with me. H thought I was trying to keep tabs on him. It was very interesting to see how we all play off of the other persons mood. Keep you chin up!!! nik
It must be just so puzzling to the WAW (or whatever the heck your H is now!!) to be treated with consistent love, respect, caring when they are doing things that even THEY know are hurtful and NOT what we wish for.
I wonder if his "Mood" is related to this? I mean shouldn't you be raving and screaming and kicking him out and giving him some REASON to need more "space"?
No, here you are making the home he's choosing (has he really?) to leave for a while as inviting as it can possibly be.
"It must be just so puzzling to the WAW (or whatever the heck your H is now!!) to be treated with consistent love, respect, caring when they are doing things that even THEY know are hurtful and NOT what we wish for."
That was my take on the situation too Opt.
It's rather interesting to watch what happens when you give your spouse nothing to oppose and nothing to struggle against - except themselves.
Well, so far Mr. Grumpy Pants has not made any moves... We woke up late, I fixed breakfast (and made bread with tomatoes, which is something I had not done in years, but he loves: ate 5 pieces!!) and he left for work...
Will see... I am not bringing up the subject...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: It must be just so puzzling to the WAW (or whatever the heck your H is now!!) to be treated with consistent love, respect, caring when they are doing things that even THEY know are hurtful and NOT what we wish for.
Puzzling or not, Sunday came and went and H did not bring up the subject... He actually made plans 'as if' he is going to stay home. At this point I do not know what to think... He will do whatever he wants to do, I guess.
I suspect he may have discovered he does not want to leave after all. Today he kept asking what was up with me (I was not wearing my glasses and I squint or something, because he always asks that when I am not wearing them). At the time nothing was up with me but later something did happen...
He hugged me very nicely and I finally told him that I was thinking how much I'd like it if he wore his ring. He snorted and went off in a huff to watch 'Caillou' with our D. I let it be, served supper and was nice to him when he went to work for 2 hours.
We watched TV for a while. He laughed at me, joking because we saw a mouse and I hate mice. And we went to bed. Then I told him that I thought he had misinterpreted my comment about the ring, that he probably thought it was some kind of control issue. I explained that, to me, wearing the ring means having something of him with me always, even when he is not physically there. That what my comment about the ring really meant was that I would like for him to want to have something of me always with him. He then hugged me in silence and went to sleep.
Sleep however is eluding me, so I came to the BB, hoping that mice will not come out when there is light. H better call the pest control service tomorrow, because they sprayed the whole house just 3 weeks ago...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Well, the mice did not eat me after all. And there seem to be some tentative steps on the other end of the tightrope... H woke up early this morning and took a shower... I thought getting ready to go to work... then he came back to bed and jumped me
And when he finally left for work, we hugged and guess what he was wearing and he listed the things he was supposed to do today No prompting needed.
Seems this detachment thing may work after all... Awaiting developments... Hope winds do not pick up at this height
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: ...then he came back to bed and jumped me... And when he finally left for work, we hugged and guess what he was wearing and he listed the things he was supposed to do today No prompting needed.
Got a big smile going here.
Quote: ...Hope winds do not pick up at this height...
They could. But then again, they just might be warm and cleansing.
which means he has picked it up and he is not wearing it 
