me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I DO have a question for you all, though. Now that I suddenly have an embarrassment of riches (East Coast admirer, 30-something local guy, 40 something LA scientist, as well as persistent and charming way-too-young guy)I'm a bit flummoxed as to how to handle it all. I have never been the kind of girl who juggled multiple guys.
East Coast guy has been warned that I will probably date local guys and might fall for one someday - but he persists in acting as if he is my boyfriend, I do worry he's gonna get hurt. Do I TELL him when I start dating (I do expect to have a REAL date with 30-something guy in near future - we have already met for drinks once and he is interested) or not mention it further unless I get seriously involved with someone?
And how about 40 something scientist? If he wants to meet, do I go ahead, knowing I have a date pending with 30 something guy? It's really too early to say I'm "seeing someone".
Well, hard to know which one I like the most when I haven't met most of them IRL yet.
(And online, sadly, the one I like the MOST is the one who is really totally impossibly young.)
I do like the 30 something that I met, and am looking forward to our date. I can't tell how much I would like the 40-something guy, who is more appropriate age-wise - I would have to meet him. East Coast admirer I haven't met but we talk on the phone - I can tell I would probably like him but prospects for meeting in the next few months are slim and I'm tired of being on the shelf, frankly. (Plus his track record - never married at 54 - makes him a lousy long-term risk anyway in my book.)
I guess what I'm asking about is the etiquette of dating multiple people at the same time? I mean, I haven't done that since my pre-sexually active teen days. I certainly wouldn't be sleeping with two guys at the same time. I guess I'm just asking about overlapping dates, when no relationship has progressed to that point yet?
I don't just blast off 100 duplicate emails to see what comes back.
AND I got matched with my XW! Turns out we are a match made in heaven with a 93% match! lol
TOO funny! That made me laugh
Originally Posted By: kml
East Coast guy has been warned that I will probably date local guys and might fall for one someday - but he persists in acting as if he is my boyfriend, I do worry he's gonna get hurt.
Kml, he is far far away from you. He may "act" like a boyf but he's totally not. Keep the converseation open. If he asks if you are dating, be honest. You can say "I met up with one guy, very casual, etc."
Originally Posted By: kml
And how about 40 something scientist? If he wants to meet, do I go ahead, knowing I have a date pending with 30 something guy? It's really too early to say I'm "seeing someone".
You are not tied to any of these guys. Go out, have fun, you're not in a relationship with any of them. Enjoy yourself. 40-yr old scientist sounds interesting, even if it's just the job title.
Originally Posted By: kml
I guess what I'm asking about is the etiquette of dating multiple people at the same time? I mean, I haven't done that since my pre-sexually active teen days. I certainly wouldn't be sleeping with two guys at the same time. I guess I'm just asking about overlapping dates, when no relationship has progressed to that point yet?
You're not having sex, you are just going out casually to meet/see these guys. You owe no one anything so just have fun. And come back with a full report, Miss!
I agree with soleil, just date them all and then make a decision on which one gets to stay longest. I have never dated more then one person at a time either but I plan to get real good at it! No sexy time, of course, until I agree to be "exclusive" with someone.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I have never dated more then one person at a time either but I plan to get real good at it!
That's the spirit! I agree with you on the sex thing, too.
My IC recommended to me something very funny: she said I should go on 20 dates w/ 20 different men. No seeing any of them a second time until I had gone through all 20. I think this is such a hilarious idea! Think of the stories!
I have never dated more then one person at a time either but I plan to get real good at it!
That's the spirit! I agree with you on the sex thing, too.
My IC recommended to me something very funny: she said I should go on 20 dates w/ 20 different men. No seeing any of them a second time until I had gone through all 20. I think this is such a hilarious idea! Think of the stories!
Hey, can I be one of them?
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final