That I don't think I know pookie. Give me a little help in what possible ways to go. I know you don't know, but give me an idea of what ur talking about.
So what your saying is I should do something small like a text about something we could easily joke about then back off?
If that was your catnip then go for it. Have a plan for what to do and say after she bites.
Check her temperature. Don't bring up any R talk.
If you make a mistake and lose her interest promptly end the communication but end it with something that will let her wonder about you. Nothing mean or inappropriate.
Alright so we talked. I've got something to run by everyone because I don't have any idea what to think. When I talked to my wife she kept on over and over saying that she wasn't good enough for me, that she thinks I deserve better, that she's not good enough for anybody and that she should be alone. I asked her why she felt this way and she said she alwys felt this way. I told her that I understood how she felt that everyone has feelings like that but what specifically about us made her feel that way. She started going on about how much more around the house I did after working a full time job while she was only part time and going to school. She talked about us not having the amount of sex and the kind of sex I wanted and that I deserved. I really don't know what to say. I couldn't get her to open up more. She seemed sad when I was talking to her. But when I tried to validate she just went in circles.
When I talked to my wife she kept on over and over saying that she wasn't good enough for me, that she thinks I deserve better, that she's not good enough for anybody and that she should be alone. I asked her why she felt this way and she said she alwys felt this way.
"I am sorry you feel that way, but you cannot know how much I value your presence in our R because you can't read my mind."
Originally Posted By: Db9
She started going on about how much more around the house I did after working a full time job while she was only part time and going to school.
"I am perfectly content with the amount of effort I put into our household and I do whatever it takes for our family. If you want to help I will appreciate it. What would you be willing to do to help me?"
Originally Posted By: Db9
She talked about us not having the amount of sex and the kind of sex I wanted and that I deserved.
You can't talk yourself into the sex you want and deserve. You need to become attractive to her. Catnip, my friend. She needs to feel comfortable, secure and loved. Read my thread and what Coach keeps saying.
Originally Posted By: Db9
She seemed sad when I was talking to her. But when I tried to validate she just went in circles.
She was sad because she looked for you make her feel better. You need to validate her feelings but understand that she does not want to feel that way. What would you do to make her feel different?
She is asking for your support. She wants to be happy. what does it take?
When I talked to my wife she kept on over and over saying that she wasn't good enough for me, that she thinks I deserve better, that she's not good enough for anybody and that she should be alone. I asked her why she felt this way and she said she alwys felt this way
You didn't make her feel special. Who knew you were responsible for that, eh?
Haven't read the rest of your situation, and the brief version isn't in your signature, so I won't say more (e.g. should you or should you not undertake affirming her specialness? Depends on your situation).
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Sorry Time, i put the link in my sig if you want to read it. Pookie, I wasn't the one who brought up sex and tried to talk about it those were all her words. Other than me telling her the things I appreciated and thought made her special, are there any other techniques you might recommend. Thanks guys.
