Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Paroled !!! MLC prison no more!!!

Chris,

I was talking to Mach as I read your last post.

All I could say to him was "do you remember the Missher that was posting a year ago?" His response was "a very different man huh?"

Do YOU remember the Missher that was posting a year ago? Even six months ago?

I do. Don't ever forget that person, Chris. He is your reminder now, the devil that sits on your shoulder, if you will...

He will always be with you, be a part of you, let him serve his purpose, which is to keep you on the path you are now forging.

While sad for the D, happy for what you have ahead of you.

Is there any more details to this?
A waiting period?
Does anyone have to agree?

I agree with what everyone else has written.

Now if you could just cut down on the liquor consumption!

I used to think anything short of reconciliation of a marriage was a failure.
I was wrong.
I am happy for you. God Bless!

Missher

Dude, my other brother from another mother! You GO dude. Yeah. Live that life you want. It is short, enjoy every fu*king second of it. Pull out that list of things that you always wanted to do and start crossing those sons of bi*ches off one by one.

You deserve it - you deserve every dream, thought and wish that you have.

I agree with Cat - NEVER FORGET! NEVER. Never allow that old guy to come back. The minute you see it...kill it.

The anger may still rear it's head from time to time - as you have learned, feel it and let it go. As Brook said, the work NEVER ends - never. None of us are perfect, be we should always continue to live the LIFE we want as the MEN we have become.

I am honored to know you my friend, honored.

Why?

Cause honestly dude, not many people can say...."I gave it everything I had and then some...and then...I gave a little more". You can say it dude. You have given so much and now you are giving your W the ultimate gift of LOVE. You are letting her completely go.

...if you love something let it go....if it returns it was meant to be..

My hope is that the BOTH of YOU find your happiness.

Now you mentioned that you might be dating soon....I'm free next Friday at 8

God Bless,
Eric

Missher,

Since I first read your post yesterday I've been trying to figure out what to say. All of us came to this site trying to save our Ms, so it is sad to see a M move toward its end.....but it takes more than one person to make a M................

You have a very good head on your shoulders and I know that you have given your decision much thought. You are the person who best knows what is right for your situation. I'm glad that you have found a place of peace in this decision.

My best to you friend.

GAG

MHL -

Congratulations on reaching this place of peace! I am thrilled that you will continue to "pay it forward" - I find a lot of comfort in hearing about other's paths.

IB

Whatnow.....all I can say is Cheers!!!! and Thank You.

If I ever get out that way, first round is on me.

SA and CW,
You guys will get there, you will know it when it happens. The funny thing is that it happens when you stop trying to make it happen......I was literally sitting at lunch last Wednesday, and had the option of going back to the office to do some more CBT's(computer based training) or taking the rest of the day off.

It hit me at that moment.

The marriage is over......I know its over and I know I need to be the one that pulls the trigger......for me. That simple, when I walked out of the courthouse I felt peace and happiness.

I am glad it took as long as it did, if it happened any faster I might not have done the hard work on ME.

Mila,
I know you are here standing beside me.....it is liberating when you know that you have done all you can and you can hold your head high.....but not out of spite for our spouses but rather holding our heads high for what we acheived for ourselves....some will look at us and say "It took MHL over a year to get over his wife" or "It took over a year for him to let go".

I prefer to say, "I have had a growth spurt for over a year"!!!!

Brook
All I can say to you is thank you for your wisdom......

I am so sorry for the troubled waters you and your son are in now.....I will be praying for you.....You know how to reach me if you want to talk about the mortgage thing.

God is watching......

He sees.....
He protects....
He provides....
His word prevails.......always.

Cat,

Yes, I do remember that person and he is no more.....it has been a journey for sure and there are still other demons I fight and they too will fall in TIME.

Sometimes if I want to cringe, I go back and read my thread....whoa!!! It really does highlite the path we are all on.




Leave it to Cadet for the mechanics of the sitch....JK.

Here is the skinny......on or about Dec. 17 the courts will set a trial date. At that time I have to go down and submit some more paperwork. We have a legal separation as it is which spells out everything so it should be easy.

We will not get into court before the end of the year, so this will go on into Jan 2011. At that time my STBXW and I will go to court and appear before a judge. It is up to the judge as to whether or not he grants us a divorce. I guess either one could contest but that would just cost money.

As far as the Likker consumption......ahhhh, well....let me get back to you on that one.

TT,
And that is what is all about. There are many "success stories" on the boards......I know for a fact that I am one of them.

YOU will be too.



The honor is all mine.....I would be a little more honored if you would get your honorable a$$ down here sometime!!!!

Thank you my friend.



You know I think my W was very much like me in that we both stood at the edge of the cell/cage and got scared. I walked out never to return again.......I think she needed a little nudge,

soooooooo

I gentlely eased her out of the cage and then took the cage apart.



You know I hope she does the work on her to find the happiness I have found, really and truly.

I always used to say that I would never be her friend in divorce.....however my feelings have changed.

I am not saying that I "will" be her friend in divorce....

BUT

I now know I could.

Cheers

Hey, BTW did anyone realize that Thanksgiving falls on Little Friday this year???????

That was funny folks.....don't forget to laugh!!!!

Thank you GAG, as I have been posting to you over the last weeks and months I know that many.....and even myself saw all the positives in my situation and in my interactions with my W.

I know that many on the boards here will be surprised and even shocked that I filed. I can hear some of the comments now

"How could he file?"
"I thought he was making progress?"
"I thought he knew what he was talking about?"
"There has got to be someone else"

and on and on......

I know that many were really pulling for me and my W to get back together.

Guess what?????

WE MIGHT....no she did not tell me that but it is a possibility. I still love my W.

Do you know what????

Me loving my W alone does not sustain our marriage. The marriage is over and yes.....it is sad. But the happy part is that I am now a whole person and will be a better Man, Father and God willing a better Husband some day.

I hope that no one is disallusioned by my decision nor loses their hope for reconciling thier marriage, rather I hope that my experience demonstrates that above all things you do for your M. The number one thing you can do is........

Save yourself first.

Missher

You and I have traveled parallel paths here and we have shared so much of this journey.

I know that you are in a much better place now and that you are capable of making a choice from the strength you have built in yourself.

I also know that you are man that will always keep moving forward and that holds love in his heart for his W

enough to let her go on her own journey.

Just keeep going on yours as I know you will.

I am proud to call you my friend and my brother in arms.

Keep steppin'

And have mercy on those ladies out there for God sakes!

Miss Her,

Your post echos many of the same things that go through my mind, that I am unable to articulate. My H initiated the D, but it is I that am ready for ready for the next step. I do still hope that at some point we can be at least friendly, if not friends.

Good luck, and keep us posted as your journey progresses.