So... in the real world (assuming you aren't going to spend the rest of your life trying to attain enlightenment in some Budhist Monestary), attachment requires some understanding, care, and feeding of its own, and it helps to develop your own ability to self-soothe and self-validate along the way so you aren't completely dependent on others to be fulfilled in a relationship.
That is exactly what my W is lacking, by her own admission, and what she says she needs to improve before we can reconcile.
Yep, the attraction is just part of it the stability and security is also needed.
It's all very complicated (and yet not really, eh?). When I was younger and out of my mind, relationships were easier There was always some inexperienced girl/woman who "knew" her love was going to fix me, but I didn't want to be fixed, and then things would get dramatic, and then I'd find another one.
Growing up... and still learning stuff
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
However women need to do much more to fix themselves as a man can get way over stressed when too much BS is thrown at him.
That's the point, she throws BS (testing) to see if you can handle it. When you can't handle it she loses attraction. She wants to be called out on the CB, this in turn lessens your stress. A woman isn't attracted to a man who let's his womans emotions run over him and stress him out.
Ever wonder why women are attracted to "bad boys" ?
I acknowledge that these are insightful observations and that's that way things seem to be with a lot of women.
I'm not sure what CB is. But assuming its the same as BS ... let me say there are many women so full of BS and when they're "called out" on it they spew forth more BS causing more stress. The run away emotions cause a lot of mental instability (sometimes bordering on illness) unfortunately. You cannot keep habitually testing a man like this and not cause him to break. Then again your mileage may vary. I'm around some women who are mathematicians and scientists. And tho' they have feelings (like most men also do by the way) these women do not lead with their arbitrary feelings like my dog does with his nose on a walk - they are highly responsible and accountable and logical individuals.
I'd risk going further and say that the women and feminists who fight loudly for "equality" would do well if they also accepted full responsibility and accountability for their actions and behavior and limitations. The world has gotten much more complicated as a result of blurring business and family roles. So if girls are raised believing its OK to go rampant with their feelings then we will continue to have more strife. I believe a wife is not not meant to be a partner but a helper, a team player and a lover. The idea of partner stirs up competition and conflict. I will try to raise my own daughter to learn to balance feeling and logic and to always respect others esp. her husband if she marries.
The world has gotten much more complicated as a result of blurring business and family roles.
That's the truth. All that was predicted from those who fought against the women's lib movement have come true. It scares me to see the roles have almost reversed. Women are trying to take the place as head of the home and men are trying to fill the role of a wife!
My heart goes out to the young women these days b/c they are trying to "have it all" but one person can't be that many people in one lifetime! That is why one has to have priorities.
I feel the same about trying to put a kid in every sport & club that's out there.
But as an old friend would say, "that's just me".....
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
There was always some inexperienced girl/woman who "knew" her love was going to fix me, but I didn't want to be fixed, and then things would get dramatic, and then I'd find another one.