Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives I intend to live forever - so far, so good

Thanks for chiming in. Lots to respond to there. I'll get back to it later.

Picking up the stuff was harder than I thought. The rings were waiting for me. I remember the night my mom and I talked about STBXW and she asked why I hadn't asked her to marry me.

I was making $8.25 an hour as a beginning reporter and couldn't afford wedding rings. So my mom, bless her heart, gave me my grandmother's engagement and wedding rings.

They are beautiful. It was six weeks later, on Valentine's Day, that I asked STBXW to marry me. She was kind of expecting it, but it was still a big, big moment. I don't remember much of the conversation before. I can't even remember if we ate first. I know after we went to see her parents.

It was a great, great night. And today I got those rings back, went to my bank, rented a safety deposit box, slid them in and locked them away.

(((((((((((CTH)))))))))))))

I have to say, my life is pretty interesting right now. Just from a psychological standpoint.

I was struggling with picking up the rings and trying to get everything done when I called the man who runs the industrial basketball league my company plays in.

I've had a running "dialogue" with one of the refs in the league for 10 years. I won't be able to play much this year because of my foot so I joked that I was going to come to the games in a suit, act as coach and yell at this particular ref.

The guy running the league said "he ain't going to be there. He killed his girlfriend."

No lie. It was in our paper, but he was named by his first name. He always went by his middle name. It happened on Monday.

So that snapped me out of my pity party.

Then the two big stories I was working on were moved to next week so I was out of stuff to do.

So I headed to the ball. And it was a good time. It wasn't a good time in we talked to a ton of people and danced. Instead, we just talked to each other. I got the run down on this Detroit guy. The started dating 6 weeks ago. She dated him 15 years ago before she started dating her now ex-husband.

So it's a bit of unfinished business, I'm sensing. Truthfully, I don't think it'll last. I also don't think even if it doesn't that we'll end up together. She's strongly conservative and I'm a liberal and the few moments of conversation that wandered down those paths led my to believe it would be difficult.

I said hi to several people I knew and Cinderella No. 1 looked at the exhibits. But mostly we just sat and talked about relationships. She had it hard. She married her college sweetheart and he was a serial cheater. She's finally past it, she said, now 4 1/2 years later.

It really was fun, partly because she appeared to only want to talk to me. I liked that. Now I'm home and trying to get the motivation up to start packing. I get the truck at 7 a.m. tomorrow.

"It really was fun, partly because she appeared to only want to talk to me. I liked that."

I'll bet you did, it's called validation...remember, I mentioned that little goodie!

"I got the run down on this Detroit guy"
I have no doubts!

"I also don't think even if it doesn't that we'll end up together. She's strongly conservative and I'm a liberal and the few moments of conversation that wandered down those paths led my to believe it would be difficult."

Oh come on! How does one come up with such a certainty with a "few minutes" of conversation which "wandered down those paths"

I'm not convinced by "I also don't think...we'll end up together" Nice try!

We'll stay tuned, CTH...I've got a sneaking suspicion this is far from over!

Btw, glad you had a fun night, did you wear green?

I don't see how the whole Mary Matalin-James Carville thing works, Wii -- that's all I'm saying. She is very interesting to talk to. She had a triple major in college. She's worked for two colleges and was a teacher.

Remember, conversation was a problem with STBXW.

I did not wear green. I have a green shirt and tie, but it's not my best look. So I wore something else that goes with my one suit coat.

Still no motivation to pack. Must ... get .... up.

Matalin-Carville...are they like Hall & Oates? What songs do they sing? Gimme a hint!

Sorry Wii. James Carville was a Clinton advisor, a staunch liberal, and Mary Matalin is a conservative pundit and advisor -- though not tea party conservative. And they are married.

I don't get that.

The drip, drip, drip of money going down the drain.

Finally, the Ls meet and all STBXW's L apparently talked about was the house. So for $250 (my L's hourly rate) I got a letter today laying out the four options:

1. STBXW keeps the house and is responsible for the mortgage and expenses.
2. House is sold at whatever price it'll get on the market place and we'll be equally responsible for the loss.
3. The house is allowed to go into foreclosure and the creditors can pursue us both for the deficiency.
4. Me and/or STBXW file for bankruptcy to insulate ourselves from the deficiency on the sale of the house.

I just moved all of my big stuff into the new rental house. After moving the stuff in, it's bigger than it looks. The girls' beds are fine and they have plenty of room for dressers. Not much play space though.

Both couches and the chair will fit into the living room.

The big thing will be keeping the basement clean. I may ask if I can scrape and paint the walls and floor to make it more playable.

So I'm good. I'd easily opt for No. 1. Yes. I'd like STBXW to sell and get out. I don't really want you boinking other guys there. But she may already have done that anyway.

I can't really afford a $7,500 to $10,000 deficiency.

I'm prepared for a foreclosure if it happens. And I don't want her forcing me into bankruptcy.

This is a toughy because she's going to owe me some kind of settlement. If I get it and pay off a bunch of bills -- only to be forced into bankruptcy because of the house then that's wasted money. I'd be better off putting the money into retirement accounts that are untouchable in bankruptcy.

Any ideas on how I should respond?

So, American Conservatives have tea parties? Then do American liberals have beer bashes? That would definately explain the Republican loss in the Presidential election two years ago, wouldn't it!

OK. Looking for more advice. I started emailing back and forth this week with a 35-year-old in a city about 30 minutes north of here.

So we've traded three each. I was thinking about inquiring about her kid schedule. Her last email she said she was going to her first wedding alone tonight. Does that mean she has these weekends free? These are my free weekends -- strange how you have to schedule life.

At what point do you ask for a date. Is there Match.com email protocol.

Any match.com veterans out there with stories to tell?