YES (with certain commitments from her -- attending retro, agreeing to regular date nights, attending MC on affair recovery, etc.)
Are you saying that if I WANT to reconcile, then I should not claim I am unsure about reconciling? But at the same time not to respond all melty-man and out of proportion to her questions about it?
I ask the above because in gr8's case, his response of a book did not seem out of proportion to me, but she seemed to retreat nonetheless. Or in other examples of when WAS "tests" to see if spouse is still a backup option by broaching idea of recon but then retreating when they see you are still an "option."
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Hmmm, re-reading the thread, I see a better answer than not being sure about reconciling would be something like what gr8, futureunknown, coach, and others said, "not going back to the way things were" "things would need to be different"
Those are not pushaways/nails in coffins, nor melty man responses. Still open to them, but ball hit back in their court to do the work/pursuit??
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
A good example I can give from my own experience is that when we separated I stayed in our apartment in the burbs and my wife moved into the city.
She does not own a car, and either rides her bike or takes public trans. everywhere.
It is very much an inconvenience for her to come out to see me. She has to walk to the train, wait for the train, pay for the train, ride the train, etc...
But you know what?
She does. Because she tells me that she likes to come and visit me at my apt. So as much as its a pain for her to do it, she does... At least once a week she drags her cute little a$$ to the train station to come see ME.
Little things like that, over time, are what you need to see.
But when a woman REALLY wants to be with you, you will know.
good point.
it's like to point where you know that you well be OK no matterthe outcome. The light just goes on.
Since I'm new to the piecing part of the process I wanted to know more about the "behavior" of the WAW.
You guys were so helpful today thanks.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Since I'm new to the piecing part of the process I wanted to know more about the "behavior" of the WAW.
Quote:
But when a woman REALLY wants to be with you, you will know.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Well, I don't know. Wanting to be with you and wanting to work on your relationship so that the relationship can be sustained are two different things.
A woman might not be "feeling it," but is willing to put the work in because she knows it's the right thing to do and that the relationship is worth saving. A woman may also change her mind about walking away (for the time being) but may not be willing to put the work in to rebuild the relationship. Sure, "wanting to be with you" is a good thing, but not the be all end all.
JMHO Of course, that's from a male perspective which may be of no value at all.
