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Sitch
married 9 yrs
Together 10
No kids
M-48
W-38
Bomb labor day weekend
Next week she moved out
OM involved

Had to change my ID as I had told a woman neighbor about the site.
after talking to out mutual friend (my friend) who is still her friend on facebook I realize what Guc, robx and times heals are talking about.
She told me that W has not had time to process the ending of our M. That I am well ahead in the mourning process and she has not even started because I have been so available to her. She still thinks I will wait and be her "friend".

I get it now! I uess it takes talking to someone. She said I will be fine with time but if W keeps thinking I am ok with this that she will be stuck and so will I. Thanks guys sorry I have a hard head.

They HAVE to get used to not having you around, what ever happens in the end, you arnt going to be playing happy friendly familes again..

Going NC is the best thing I ever did, at first it didnt seem to work as far as H was concerned but it sure helped me get my head round things and grow into the woman I had lost over the thirty years.. I have now got her back and believe me she isnt going any where.

Thankfully for me it also eventually worked on H but that is not a given in every case so it really must be done for oneselfs first and foremost..

Dont beat yourself up its not easy to suddenly get your head round some of these concepts as they are so opposite to what your heart wants to do but hang on in there and prove that they do work (())

Thanks rabbit,
My previous posts are Rondo but I changed because I have mentioned these sites to a neighbor when W was here and since I am going underground I did not want W to sudeenely remember. I miss her sooo much and knowing I must do this is soo hard..

Well I did it. She and I talked yesterday and again the friend crap came up so I told her we are married and she is still with OG. Oh yes she came back from girls weekend Saturday and hooked up with him that night and "partied". So I told her that's it.
That if she isn't going to respect our marriage that we need to move on. She already texted me this morning about Co tomorrow. I told her that I will let Co know its over and we need to make a plan to move forward and she can cancel Thurs for her appoint.
This really sucks but I know its right.

Pack her stuff up. Put it on the curb. Text her to get it before the trash man does...

There is no stuff. She already is emailing me. Check this..

"I didn’t think we said it was OVER – last we spoke, I was trying to sort out all of my feelings and breaking off what I am involved in now??"

WTF?

Why does this suprise you? Her safety net may have been removed, so she is panicked. She's never done the trapeze without a net. It's so much scarrier, eh?

Patience, quiet, and go out and have some good wholesome fun, and try not to think to much about her right now.

Let it sink in that she alone doesn't get to decide if you TWO will have a relationship.

And don't answer her...she needs to feel the loss

Thanks guys. It took me awhile 7 weeks to get here. This sucks but I have to do it. My 1st marriage ended because I could not. I did it all wrong.
I'm smarter this time but its hard when the bomb drops and chao's rules. Got to calm down and have a strategy and know that whatever happens I will have dealt with this and she has not.

You got the right idea. Tell her good luck "figuring out" her feelings but you won't be around for it.


P.S. Her telling you that she needs to figure out her feelings actually translates into "I wanna be with this other guy but just sit tight in case I change my mind again".


Here is what I say to that!


http://wiki.urbandead.com/images/a/a0/No_maam.jpg