Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Trying to grow a backbone!

Mrs. A you get a grip by holding on to your principles and you have started that...very good! Baby steps like you said, with a few giant steps thrown in. I mean a giant step is not communicating with him whatsoever for a week. A baby step is a day or half day? But getting the grip just doesn't happen over night.

Good job resisting the urge to talk to him for some excuse- I know the classic one of talking to someone so they can get their stuff back. But you are not doing that, right? Well done. (You WERE planning on that originally but you stopped)

It is very hard. Just no getting around it! (((Mrs. A)))

Mrs A, Im sorry about that. I guess I am not the best person to get advise from as I need to get a grip as well. I was doing really really well until XH announced his engagement to OW. Sadly, I still hang onto a little hope that XH will come back and say I made a huge mistake lets have our family back - I know my sons do too.

However, I agree with the advise that you shouldnt contact him. I have made that decision as well so maybe we should do it together. I really dont have any reason to contact XH, so each time I think I need to, I will just picture the possible reaction and the hurt I could experience and then put it to one side. One thing I have done is write a ton of emails but never send them. My drafts box is full - not sure if that would work for you.

Anyway, my suggestion to you is that from today for the next 7 days we do not contact them at all.

Let me know if you are keen!!!

(((( )))))

Hi Lea,
Yep, we can go in together on 7 days NC. I'm up for it.

NM,thank you for the encouragement. I need it!

BA, I ended up having a great time last night, though I probably got a little too tipsy for a work function. Oh well, I'm allowed once in awhile.

My BGMF and I were both working the event, and we decided to go out for another cocktail after it ended. We were pumped up from the excitement of it all. Anyway, I didn't end up getting to bed til 2 a.m.

Fast forward to this morning, when I had to be back at work. I got there at 10:30 and felt just awful. Thought I was going to throw up from too much wine last night and not enough sleep! This was another event that I had to staff and I was there for FIVE HOURS - waaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much.

As the event wore on, I went from feeling hungover to feeling just plain tired and depressed. I'm home now and feeling a bit better, but all in all it has been a tough week followed by an even tougher weekend.

The good news is that I've got my PJs on already! Plus I stopped at the grocery store and bought 2 gossip mags - always a good mood-booster for me. Tonight I need to clean the house and I think my mom is going to come for another overnight stay since we had no time to visit yesterday or this morning.

Also planning to catch up on others' threads and maybe post a little more of my own.

Oh, and how could I forget? There's a football game on - GO BLUE!!!

Um, no go blue today! BA, are we doomed?

We are doomed!

Definitely doomed. Looks to be a repeat of last year's dismal season. Only hope is that the AD will finally tire of this Rich Rodriguez experiment we've had to deal with the past 2 1/2 years.

Glad you had a good time at the work function. You probably needed to let you hair down a bit and release some of the stress you have been under.

BA

Hey Mrs A, so glad you had a good time. It is great to let your hair down every now and then - a headache the next day is not great though :-)

So day one for me is over with NC. My sons and I went to a roller disco last nite (yep!!) and S8 fell and hurt his arm. Nothing drastic just a little bruise, however he told his dad and then XH texted me to ask how he was. I didn't respond, it wasnt neccessary. S8 is fine just a little dramatic. My thinking is if is it an emergency I will let you otherwise, when he left he choice not to be part of their falls and dramas.

He wouldnt be able to do anything anyway he is playing house in Switzerland.

Good luck for today!

(( ))

Even though I am feeling totally lost today, I managed to sweep up the floor and do laundry. Fake it til you make it!

You keep going Mrs. A. You will be better soon. It gets easier with them gone after awhile.... Those false starts are a b8tch.

It was two weeks ago right now that Mr. A and I sat down to watch Amazing Race, which I've loved for awhile and he was just going to start watching with me (so I thought). Then he took a 90 minute phone call from his friend. He went outside and had the whole conversation there, which is pretty uncomfortable in Michigan in October at night.

My instincts told me something wasn't right, and it was just a few days later that I learned about his ongoing womanizing.

Well, not gonna let that ruin Amazing Race for me tonight, that's for sure! I missed it last week and that was enough!