Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW 20 years and wants out

Yes she is. He is also being a typical Betrayed spouse.

He doesn't WANT to believe the reality of what is going on.
Deep down he WANTS her to lie to him and tell him she doesn't want the OM. He WANTS her to keep telling him that the OM is just a friend.

That is typical of people on this site. What reality shows and what they want to believe are not the same. Many just refuse to see what the reality is showing. They will keep on believing lies no matter what the evidence or reality.

Gucci, is that what people mean when they say "she is playing you"??

I guess that is sometimes what they mean.

It really is that he is "ALLOWING" her to play him..


She can only do what he allows. Many people on this site like to keep being a victim and some trying to help keep allowing them to be victims because they don't want to "hurt" their feelings. So all the BS has to do is to keep making sure the people trying to help them are not allowed to hurt them. This keeps others from telling them something they don't want to hear. The ones helping fall for it and many times even keep enabling the betrayed to stay a victim.

Gucci,

I do suspect she was with him. I cannot prove it.

I DO KNOW he is more than a friend. I am not buying it either.

MC was out of desperation at first, but I am going to get my bearings and I am doing DB coaching alone to improve myself.

I am concerned about how I balance NOT persuing and not rationalizing the OM with her when my DB coach said I shouldnt bring him up at all!?

one question? If she really wanted to "be with him" why hasnt she just gone? Why not any frequency? And why not just tell me about it?

and how do I NOT allow this to OM to continue?

You want to know what men who are the most successful do in getting a woman back?

They dump HER. They have a backbone. Their attitude is "I don't share my woman with any man."... "If SHE so chooses to be with someone else, she can NOT have me too. It isn't up for negotiation" "One of us needs to leave and I HAVE DECIDED that YOU should find another place to stay, this isn't working and I am not sure how I feel right now. I think we should separate. I want you to find a place as soon as possible, maybe with your "friend would be a good idea I will give you one week to find a place and move out."

And then the men who are the most successful with getting a woman back do exactly what I just described. No anger except to call her behavior exactly what it is. No more talk. Only action. An attitude of "this is what I HAVE DECIDED... No negotiation or talk. ACTION...

And then you don't budge on your position and you end up making HER feel that she got dumped. Women hate to be dumped. They hate it. They also deep down inside RESPECT a man who won't take their sh*t and has the emotional strength to take them or leave them. They suddenly see you more as a man than a wimp.


You won't see men on this site doing that very often, but when you do see one, he is almost always relieved, feeling stronger immediately and fnally feeling good. Men that wait around and can't get tough with a woman are the ones who are on here for months going into years. Their self esteem isn't high enough to let them realize that they CAN DO BETTER...

Pen,

You can't control her. She's a grown woman, and we're not a feudal country. But you can remove her from your situation. Gucci is right on the money.

Not only that...

But IT WORKS like a charm.....


Only men with the strength to do this have discovered this phenomenon......those that don't do it are the ones who say "one size does not fit all, or "you" know your WAW better than anybody, or I ignored her before this will be more of the same", etc, etc, etc.. Always an excuse NOT to be tough and strong... Always...


Those who try the hardest in love are the most likely to fail...

He who cares the least is in charge of the relationship...

Love is to absence as wind is to fire... It blows out the weak and kindles the strong....

does this work when the WAS is the h?

Guys hate to get dumped just as much as women... Look at all the LBH on the boards (sheepishly raising hand).