As far as her seeing if i respond to her sexually, i dont know about that. When we were together we had sex about once a week, but it was always me initiating it except for once in a blue moon. She always used the excuse about being rejected and she didnt like it the few times she wanted sex and i didnt.
So let me ask everyone, it seems like everytime we talk she is apologizing. How should I go about handling that. Up til this point I've started saying things like "it's ok, you don't have to keep apologizing I'll be fine." Yesterday I told her to quit apologizing and that I'm sure I'll look back down the road and see this situation as a good thing.
So let me ask everyone, it seems like everytime we talk she is apologizing. How should I go about handling that. Up til this point I've started saying things like "it's ok, you don't have to keep apologizing I'll be fine." Yesterday I told her to quit apologizing and that I'm sure I'll look back down the road and see this situation as a good thing.
"W, I understand how you feel and need to apologize. I don't think I can accept it right now. I will let you know when I'm ready to talk about it."
She had a PA and this is how you acted so she knows you won't have a wife who is disrespectful. This works
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I pretty much went the yea, i think us divorcing is a good idea thing. I helped her move her stuff out to her dads.
She's apologising because you stood up to her. She knows she did the wrong thing. She knows if she wants to be married she needs to make ammends.
You let her know you have forgiven her for her behaviour but that you have decisions to make regarding your marriage. Don't do this unless you understand forgiveness.
So what is your goal?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
First off I agree w everyone else. You are doing great. Continue to do what is working.
IMO - She is looking for you to let her off the hook... So she can move on or start having deeper feelings for you.
I would respond like Pookie suggested. Help facilitate her inner journey.... She needs to figure out why she allowed herself to cheat... she is riddled with guilt which is a GOOD thing. It means she has a conscience. Unlike some spouses on here. "Just let her know that you need time to figure this out and will let her know when you are ready to discuss it..." This is keeping the CONTROL in your hands.
But isn't me discussing it the opposite of waiting for her to talk about the R?
Originally Posted By: Coach
You let her know you have forgiven her for her behaviour but that you have decisions to make regarding your marriage. Don't do this unless you understand forgiveness.
My goal is to be in a relationship with someone who is just as responsible as me about the relationship. I would prefer that to be her, but I know that might not be a possibility. I know I can forgive her for this, but from what I've gotten from her a while back, it seems like her cheating wasn't even the reason for us getting here.
Also coach, while I did tell her at first that the divorce was a good idea, that was right after it happened. I did have a 3 week backslide before I found my new resolve.
