W asked me to stop by where she is staying to pick up what she ordered for me. Her sis was in town (who is not exactly discouraging the divorce.) She's encouragin by saying things like, "I can help you through this. We can raise our kids together, etc., etc."
Anyway, made mistake of being clingy when I got there and tried to leave. Then I text her afterwards to thank her (after already being clingy) I got weak seeing her and the current somewhat positive signs. When we hugged bye she accidentally said 'I love you' - I think out of habit. I know what is working, and yet when she reaches out to me or I see her, I get weak.
Previous C was indifferent to actually saving marriage.
By the way, when I say I know what works, I mean I know what pushes her away and what pulls her closer. But I am also doing what is necessary to correct the mistakes I made and work on myself.
By the way, when I say I know what works, I mean I know what pushes her away and what pulls her closer. But I am also doing what is necessary to correct the mistakes I made and work on myself.
You are farther along than some people are....by knowing what works. The hard part is putting what you know into action. Those darn emotions!
My advice is to stay away from her as long as possible. Build up your strength. Prepare yourself mentally before seeing her. Start right now in thinking of possible situations and what you'd say, etc.
Why were you going over there? There will always some "excuse" that sounds justified. You have to just say no thanks.
Remember this: When you lean toward her, it pushes her away. When you lean away from her.....it draws her in closer. No woman wants a needy man. She wants a sexy, confident, strong man. You know.....like Rhett Butler! A man who can laugh at her when she's acting like a silly child who thinks she cunning him. He can smile and wave.....smile and wave.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Have a question about the whole 'testing' thing. Not sure I understand how this is being used. Is this something referred to what the WAW does intentionally or unintentionally? I don't think she is doing things purposefully to test me.
Now Michele talks about testing the waters, but what I'm refering to is completely different.
You see, a WAW doesn't want you. She's ready to dump you and go be free to love another and have a grand ole time. But, she expects you to have a real hard time with that, and if you act as if you aren't really bothered that much.....well then she has to try some things out. She wants to know if you're putting on an act and if she was to turn on the charm if you would be like always and ready to fall into bed with her. She might show up at your place late one night, probably all weepy over something.....don't know her feelings about things,etc. Kind of leaning into you all needy like. You get the picture. She may even have sex with you, but rest assured it would all be over the next day b/c you were too "easy" for her to get.
She may get dolled up and try to flirt with you to see how much sexual pressure you can endure before caving to her hot body. That's when you have to give her that Rhett Butler grin and walk away.
That's the kind of tests I'm talking about. The more she thinks you may be dumping her instead of her dumping you.....well then....that's a horse of a different color! You will have her full attention on trying to get you back.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That's the kind of tests I'm talking about. The more she thinks you may be dumping her instead of her dumping you.....well then....that's a horse of a different color! You will have her full attention on trying to get you back.
Print this out and put it in your wallet to read and re-read. This is 100% true.
That's the kind of tests I'm talking about. The more she thinks you may be dumping her instead of her dumping you.....well then....that's a horse of a different color! You will have her full attention on trying to get you back.
Print this out and put it in your wallet to read and re-read. This is 100% true.
Is this something I should verbalize to her or just start 'ignoring/detaching' and show by actions (not answering phone/texts, etc.)? Afer all, it's quite obvious when I fall for her contacting me she then pulls back/detaches and tries to steel herself. She is so afraid to let herself feel anything.
So, W called and I let it go to voicemail. Listened to message - she called so I could talk with D3. Feel horrible not answering as I don't want to ever miss talking with D3. But I wasn't sure why W was calling and I don't want to be 'available' - especially right now cause I know I'm wanting to chase again and I'm trying to stand my ground. On the message I heard her telling D3, "I know he's not there honey. I don't know where he his." - with exasperation in her voice.
A man who can laugh at her when she's acting like a silly child who thinks she cunning him. He can smile and wave.....smile and wave.