Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW 20 years and wants out

got it.. so I tell her firmly and fairly, I dont except her and her "friend" doing anything together.. nothing.. and she must break it off.

so I ask her if she is still in touch with or contact with him?

If I push this she will not go to counseling with me.. I have the gut feeling I need to see the MC first and do my 180's and LRT for the weekend.. thoughts?

she is NOT activly out with this guy... she MAY be in contact via text or what ever, and he IS on her FB page, but she is still home when she is supposed to be and HAS agreed to go to MC..

I'm still not clear.



Who's got the issues?

You are to adress her issues?

Your own?

What?

Not relevant. If she is emotionally attached, that is just as bad...she is spending all of her emotional energy on OM. Not good.


Nope, she will lie or at least minimize what he means to her. "We're just friends."


If she isn't committed to you and making your M work, which it sounds like she isn't, then counselling is a waste of time...so don't worry about that


Too controlling. Need to make a boundary. I'm sure some others will be able to provide you a much better way of phrasing that

What GW said!!

The TKD is NOT supposed to be her "support". If you believe that, then you've got alot to learn. YOU are supposed to be her support. Put it this way...if the OM went to another school, do you think she will stay with the school or follow the OM?

Have you read DB or DR? That's the first thing you need to do so that you understand the things that the people on the board are referring to.

Coach is right in saying that you need to start standing up to your W and that you can't be filling "love buckets" when there's already someone doing it for her.

Pookie,

She means our issues..

I have read DR. I am going through phone counseling had one session so far.

I am trying to stop the bleeding out.. I know MC is a part of the process and needs to be. I also recognize she is too blame for her EA with the OM.. I am not sugar coating. I plan on setting boundries make no mistake, please assist in what you folks recommend.. I am open to all suggestions.

(and what if you suspect she has painted herself into a corner and needs a person to talk to outside of the whole family friends circle??)

By the way, I was getting the I love you's all the way up until I came home.. this EA began with the TKD dude on 11 August and Flamed out on text message and phone calls on 3 Sept. I have the records. no more cell contact after that.. but now certainly FB and Cell contact since I outted them..

Mr Bond,

I meant that it is her support now for her confidence and this guy, seeing him in class. I understand what you mean.. I am not a shrinking Violet guys! I have to recognize my goal and make sure the way I act helps me reach that goal.

Be wary of the pay as you go phones. Some have referred to them as whore phones...
Very easy to buy anywhere and keep adding minutes. You can text and call off them.