Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis My 40 year old wife's MLC

Troy


Kids – GREAT IDEA. Become the Dad that YOU always wanted to be. This my friend will reap rewards for YEARS to come.

As for the job….

BALANCE

In life everything is a balance my friend. Even M’s are a balance.

Learn to balance everything in YOUR life.

Throwing yourself into work and not allowing YOU to experience a fun and healthy life is also not ideal – IMO. So just remember to take care of YOU. Try to carve out some time for YOU. With that let me ask you a few questions….

1) What do you enjoy doing
2) What dreams have you always wanted to live

Eric

I enjoy having close friends over with their children and firing up the grill and cooking 4 or 5 slabs of ribs and drinking beer while a big group of kids play football or baseball in the back yard while the parents hang out on the screened porch and relax. I also enjoy the beach. We are 3 hours from the Gulf of Mexico and we have always enjoyed spending time as a family at the beach. That is my favorite thing in the world to do. Go to the beach with my family.

I have always dreamed of having a boat. Nothing big, something we can take to the lake or the gulf and the kids can ski and tube. This is something that I stopped dreaming about over the past few years and it is now back on the front burner. I am working on a plan to buy a boat next spring. Its a goal and God knows I need goals in my life more than ever.

You're doing ok.

Follow the advice, there are no guarantees.

The more you learn and learn quickly the better it is going to be for you.

Everyday have a beginners mind and yes you're going to look back and go oh man, we all do.

But see the quicker you listen to those before you the better.

It isn't about saving a marriage, it's about saving you and maybe having an opportunity to renew a marriage.

Keep quiet read other threads and those resources.

Troy

Just checking in....how are you?

Eric

Eric,
I am doing good. I have just been keeping my mouth shut and spending time with my kids. I took the kids bowling Friday night,to a big SEC football game Saturday afternoon and then to church on Sunday morning. Wife participated in none of it. I did notice last night that she is reading a new book. Its called
For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered
by E. Mavis Hetherington & John Kelly

I read the first 100 pages today when I was home for lunch by myself. This is not a self help book , its a book that lays out the lives of divorced families from before, during and after divorce. Maybe some of the other posters are familiar with it but I plan on reading the book in full soon. She asked me some questions about our mortgage balance last night and my answers were short and too the point. Did not get into anything else so for now I am good. I run half marathons and I now recognize that this is going to be like running an ultra marathon without ever training for it. Peace.

Troy,

I am glad to see that you are doing good. One day at a time buddy…



Just a friendly reminder that every time YOU want to say something to YOUR W….remember to pour that LARGE glass of STFU.

Time with the kids – best thing that you can do. For both THEM and YOU.


She is probably NOT going to. It is her way of SHOWING YOU HER boundary. Learn from it. You see HER ACTIONS are speaking FOR HER. YOURS should do the same for YOU.



I did not read it.

Troy – I would NOT pay any ATTENTION to ANYTHING that she does. The more you LOOK at Her the LESS TIME you spend LOOKING AT YOU. You see, right now you are still looking for a sign from her. When YOU stop looking for a sign – trust me YOU will REALLY begin to feel better.


Why DO YOU want to read a book about Divorce? I mean really is this something that interest YOU OR are you really trying to get INTO HER head?


When asked questions about finances – be careful. Be honest…but be careful.



Are YOU good? You tell me?

Are your feeling tied to WHAT SHE DOES? If so, may not be a good long term receipt for YOU.

I still feel very much tied to what she does but the degree gets less and less as time goes on. Its a process. I know where I need to get and I think by stfu and gal and spending more quality time with the kids I will get there. I wish I was there now.

It will feel less and less that much I agree with. Sometimes, the feelings come rushing back in with a gusto…that is when you will need to remind yourself…drink the STFU, drink the STFU….


Yes it is. Good book to pick up…journey from abandonment to healing by susan Anderson. Oh..and don’t leave it around for her to see thinking that she may “think” your moving on.



We all do. But then again it really depends on where “there” is.

I would like to be on nice beach right now…sipping a nice cold pina colada.

I would like to be on nice beach right now…sipping a nice cold pina colada.
_________________________

Tru 'Dat. I may have to make a beach run this weekend. Sunny and in the 80's would be awesome. Have not been since May due to the oil spill but I really need the time away. Thanks, Eric. I will check in with you tomorrow.

Dude I am in the North East....I can't go to the beach...so if ya do go...mail me some sand - LOL

Keep us posted buddy.

Chin up!

Eric