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Funny Monday morning story. I tell S to go to the bathroom like every morning and I hear him say "Mommy I peed on my pants". I ask him why? He says "because I was standing up to pee like my friends at school." S learned to pee standing up and at school they have urinals, but at home well he didn't lift the toilet seat so there was pee all over the place. I just laughed

LOL! That is so cute! My son did nearly the same thing when he was 3. He put the seat up but couldn't point down enough to hit the toilet since he was barely as high as the bowl. He just peed all over the back of the toilet in a high arc. So funny! He just looked at me and said, "oopsie mommy!"

Very tired today. It is a blah day at work because the sophomores are taking the PSAT all morning and I mostly have sophomores, but it will be a nice change.

I had the strangest dreams last night. I was talking Monday to my B about H and the D finally going through (whenever the L gets things done). B asked if I thought H would keep following through with seeing S. I said I don't see H pushing for seeing S more. He isn't trying to get a place so he could have S overnight so I just don't see it happening. I think it would cramp his bachelor lifestyle to have to put S to bed early and get up early. Also OW is very needy (H even said that is one thing he doesn't like about her when we were together) so I don't see her being ok with not seeing H if she needs him. So the dream was that H moved to Virginia after the D was finalized (why there I don't know). I figure if OW and H do stay together they will end up in PA where she is from within a few years especially if children are involved. She constantly was saying how she wanted to go back and if they are both D'd from their spouses and get crap from people about it...well it will push them away. Anyway the dream was H moving to Virginia and asking for S to come see him over teh summer. I said yes, but I would be coming too so he would have to get someplace for me to stay for at least one week since S has NEVER spent the night with H I would want to make sure he was ok before I left. It was all crazy.

In other news, Monday, I took the table and chairs back to his parents. I asked H about it last week and then again last Sunday and he never replied so I just took care of it myself. His mom was there (I called ahead) and she said she was hoping to have the garage cleaned out so she could park her car in the garage before winter. I let her know that H still has at least a room full of stuff at the house and that surprised her. I really think what I can't stand about his parents is that they want to be naive. They don't want to really know what is going on so they just act like H hasn't done anything and allow OW to hang out with them even though they are both still married, and let H go on vacations with OW even when we were still trying to work things out.

HOpefully this will all be done soon. I have to call the car place today because they haven't called me like htey said they would (surprise surprise), and hopefully the L gets back to me on the D because I am ready for this to be over officially.

The parents thing really is a bother. Parents are the biggest enablers.

In my case, STBXW said her mom was my biggest booster. But when the chips were down the MIL gave STBXW money to file for D and has taken on much of the driving kids around stuff that I used to do.

"Very tired today. It is a blah day at work because the sophomores are taking the PSAT all morning and I mostly have sophomores, but it will be a nice change."

I am stuck in my classroom all morning administering the PSAT!

Got S and his daycare teacher said he didn't eat at all and acted touchy and tired all day. We got home and I checked his temp. 100.9. I let H know right away. (He didn't get back to me for 3 hours). Finally once the mess kicked in, I was able to get S to eat. He chose McDonald's chicken nuggets, apples, and chocolate milk. I was not going to argue.

Now S is asleep in my arms, and he is super sweaty so hopefully his fever is gone, but I am going to make my sub plans just in case. One positive is H did give me a compliment saying I am a great mom.

S still has a fever, although he is eating better now, I can tell he doesn't feel well. He is taking a 3 hour nap so that is good. Hopefully the fever is gone tonight so he can go to him pumpkin patch field trip tomorrow. He has been looking forward to that all week.

The doctor said not strep so no antibiotics...I just hope it is done today so S doesn't have to miss more school because he loves school .

S finally got better around 5 and hasn't had a fever since 4 yesterday. Around 5 he started to have more energy and ate more. This morning he was back to his silly little self.

The one fun thing about S being sick is he likes to come with me when I get my room ready for me to be gone. I like showing him off. The students love to see him and so do the teachers because we don't go to a lot of extracurricular stuff due to S being young, although we will be doing more this year, and he needs to get to bed.

H is still so strange. More compliments yesterday about how great of a mom I am. He said that not a lot of parents would do what I do, which made me think. Who is he talking about? All I did was stay home with my sick kid and take care of him all day. Lots of TLC. Who is he thinking about that wouldn't do that for their kid? Maybe some of his student's parents, maybe himself, maybe OW? I don't know so I just asked a general question about how he is doing because it just was weird. He said he is really stressed at work and his principal is on his case again and he doesn't understand why. H is a great teacher, but is unconventional and also his personal life is not the best role model so his principal could be looking at that, although she shouldn't. H has always pushed the line and even tipped toed over it, but always says he doesn't understand why he gets "watched" so closely. I didn't say anything, but I just wonder if his principal has seen him and OW together and she is mad that he lied to her two years ago. Who knows? Not really my problem, but I do feel bad for him.

On the car, the dealer finally said he would get with GM and would be calling me early next week.

Still nothing from the L.

Me...well I am not doing well. My throat is a mess so definitely what S had without the fever. My immune system is so shot from the last 1.5 years of stress so I am definitely going to be sick a lot more than usual until it gets back to normal. Drinking hot tea with honey, but my biggest problem is the nasal drainage.

This weekend not much going on. Maybe some raking with S.

Well, my STBXW always asked me to stay home with the girls when they were sick. Last year, she tried to do that again but I said in October that she wanted to be the primary custodial parent and she can't order me to stay home, she has to ask.

So far this year, she's stayed home both days the girls missed school.

Take the compliments. I know I should compliment STBXW more -- but I can't bring myself to do it yet. There's still that feeling of "if I'm nice to her she'll think I'm OK with everything."

CTH- That is where forgiveness comes into play. I thought for forever if I was kind to H then he would feel what he did was ok, but by reading on forgiveness, I learned I could forgive and be kind, but that does not condone the actions. It just frees me from the jail of bitterness and anger. He will have to live forever with his choices and will always know I think it is wrong, but I can still be kind.

Just remembered because of a friend's FB status that it is sweetest day weekend, which for me means 1 year since H moved out again stating he could tell I had changed, but he hadn't so he needed a few weeks (no more than 5 he said) to work on him and he would be back. It started the worst point for me. It completely destroyed me to work so hard and change so much just to have him reject me again.

The best part is that it doesn't bother me now. The memory is just that and I am not sad. I am ok being me. A friend and I were talking and she said "we need to find you a good guy" I said I am not holding my breath. I am ok with it being just me and S. No prospects anywhere.

Tonight S and I are having a PJ movie night. Tomorrow some raking and outdoor play. Also some resting so we both get back to 100%.