Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? WAH and LBW separated and dark

i'm not stable.
i haven't been stable for days.

my l wants an answer. and the answer is that i'm out for blood. a few days ago, the consensus was to walk away with my original deal.

after some intel, he's not hurting at all. he's got a fully loaded bentley on order to help him feel better. well, then .. that changes the entire game.

i'm going to re-open the can of worms and i'm out for blood. emotional decision or not.

decision made.

Me.

I question whether I should get some popcorn and watch the show.

That brings on the question are you gonna walk us thru the drama? (Are you gonna post?)

"i'm not stable."

"after some intel, he's not hurting at all."

"i'm going to re-open the can of worms and i'm out for blood. emotional decision or not."

"decision made."

I think it is a poor choice..

In the end.. It will leave you hollow.

I suspect you may be waiting on that Bentley to make you feel better.

There is a reason you are acting stupid. It is the exact same reason you acted stupid within the confines of you marriage.

You are following an emotional leader.

And you have become dull.

It is interesting to me that I come under fire for the words I use. But to me they have so much meaning. I like my words. They are not meant to hurt.. or belittle. They are to encourage you to understand what I am saying.

So for the sake of the word...

1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
3. tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party.
4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio.
5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.
6. Slang . excellent; terrific.

Which definition best fits you?

as opposed to how great i feel now? i'm at a point where i don't care to help anybody anymore. being a good person doesn't mean very much. i'm just tired of helping and having people take advantage of that help.


no, mine will be an aston martin. he can have his bentley.


the strange thing is, i know i'm acting stupid. but i'm rebelling and acting out. it makes me feel better .. like i'm transferring my anger and hurt on to others.


your choice of words don't bother me. i'm pretty numb at this point.


all but #6. #6 is not me.
my self-esteem is in the toilet.
my daily blabbing is about what? how good i look when i'm skin and bones. how much attention i get when someone looks at me?

i have no self-esteem. i'm buying things to fill the void. i want to run away. i want to drop everything and run away .. i don't know where and i don't care. as long as it's not here and not where i know anybody.

i can't remember the last time i felt good about myself.

No popcorn for me--this is a sad movie with no good ending in sight. Sometimes I go for this type of movie....but I have to be in the right mood.

Not in that mood at the moment--sorry D4ML.

i'm sorry i let you down, lauraoh.

the m was doa when i got here.

i am most disappointed in myself that i was not able to turn myself around. i feel that i am back to square one. i came a long way and ended up back where i started.

i am seeing a new ic. she's not bad. although she's worried that my mental state is beyond her capability.

lately i have been pushing everyone away - including my family.

i've closed up like a clam. i post less about how i feel. i just talk about the mechanics of going through the legal process now. it's tiring.

if i had a bit of advice for those going through this. be prepared for a good fight. save your energy for when it matters.

i will be devastated when he chooses to remarry and start a family. i have been denied that and i believe the long road ahead is full of hardship for me. it will beat me down. but i will stay strong and find a way to fight through it.

forrest, can we still try to work on saving me?

D4ML, your M was NOT dead--you just keep telling yourself that if you need to, but it wasn't. You didn't get the people that posted to you because it was dead.

Your H dealt with a lot from you--you make it crystal clear that he had his challenges. From day 1 it was evident that your breakdown was probably a 50/50 deal.

You fight and fight and fight and look for the opinions you want. I'm sure this is nothing new.

Saving you is NO DIFFERENT than anything else Forrest has ever told you! Go back to his first posts and re-read them--there won't be one word that is not true right now today.

I do hope you get it--I really, really do. You are SMART for heaven's sake. I had a preconception that the ones that don't get it just aren't all that bright! Bad me!!

what made it doa from the start was that i could not overcome the words and accusations.

it was me who knew it was not right to revive the marriage. i couldn't bring myself to be nice to him because i felt like i was being nice to someone who treated me like crap.

i agree that we were both responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. but the damaged caused after the d-bomb was unbearable for me. i didn't feel it was justified. i understand that hurt people do/say hurtful things. but it was relentless to the point where there wasn't an inkling of remorse.

he bought a house. and went all out on the upgrades. in typical was script, it was well planned, way ahead of time. i saw the signs. he wasn't going to be swayed. he avoided me not because he was ashamed of what he said or did. but because he despises me. (i know, i bought a house too because i have to find a place to live, not for emotional reasons).


he wrote a lengthy email to his lawyer on how unfair things were for him. he is continuing to fight me on money.

maybe we are too different. maybe money is the apple of his eye. i can't compete with money. money gives him some level of satisfaction that i can't give.

it was over when we sold our house. he took my house key in an attempt to lock me out so he can claim abandonment. he wanted to claim the house to himself. i had personal items stolen from me while i was out. trust was damaged beyond repair.

it was hard for me to want to be nice to someone who was plotting to take my life savings away from me. for what? because i hurt his feelings? what about mine? at some point, i matter in this sitch.

Same old stuff, different day.

They all do this, this is typical, did you expect him to be the exception to the WAS rules?? And if you did... WHY???

WHY do you think your sitch is so unique?? It is the same--they are all the same. There is hardly any difference between yours and 100 others on here. You gave it a fancy twist by including your in-laws. All 100 of these sitchs could do that to some extent or the other.

The only unique thing that I found in your sitch was YOU--that you are very intellegent. No brainer here, I thought--she'll catch on to this stuff in no time!!

If there is no drug/alcohol abuse or mental illness (diagnosed, not just "he's crazy") there is life. The LB has to do SOMETHING. When you do nothing but complain, whine, make excuses for your LACK OF DOING ANYTHING, I think this brings you to a point lower than the WAS just leaving.

Because this ultimately is about you D4ML. And you know it. It is depressing.

Hi dumped,

Your thread is very large. Please start a new one.

Thanks,
sg

i should have kept this thread alive.