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Good luck on the job interview... it sounds exciting! How is your mom doing?

If you have no regrets then it is what it is. It's hard to know (IMO) what sort of feelings you have when there is so much stuff going on. In the past few weeks your divorced has been finalized, you sold your house, your mom is having a health crises and you might be moving for a new job. That is an awful lot!

Of course feelings will develop for the one thing that makes you feel good about yourself! Once the high of the good feelings dissipate a bit maybe you can evaluate and see where you both are at.

I assume you knew this person before this happened? What did you feel for this person before?

My mom is doing really well, thank you for asking. She tells me that she is feeling better and better everyday.

It's a person I work with and really, before this, never hung out. There wasn't any feelings before this because we really didn't know each other that well. It seems massively complicated. I'm moving out of the state in less than two weeks and I know a future together would always be complicated. Is it worth it to spend what little time we have left together and get attached only to make leaving that much harder... or end it now?

(((Brena)))

Well, since we don't know who this person is it's hard to really say what it was. On the one hand I could see it as 'what a creep, he took advantage of some girl who's been going through perhaps her roughest time ever' or I could see it this way 'he wanted to help you, to hold you and make you feel beautiful- he must care about you' so I don't really know. I don't think long distance stuff really works but people do make it work, there're even books on the very subject. Do you think a one time event is worth altering your plans for? That's something you need to answer. If I were you I'd stick with the plans but stay in touch and if we really did feel this strongly about eachother after sometime we could move again.

Goodluck on the interview- I hope you get it!.

Thats just it. I'm not going to alter my plans for this, but do i continue it for the next two weeks or end it now?

Sorry to be dense but what are you ending exactly? I am going to gather (and pardon me for being so blunt) that the two of you had sex. You said you didn't really know this person very well prior to this happening, correct? So what is there to end really? You aren't dating, you aren't in a R... IMO the question you are asking is "should we START something?".

What sort of feelings are the two of you having? Not knowing somebody well then having sex is an awful big leap! Do you *want* to get to know this person better or is it all stemming from the one night?

I am really so very, very glad to hear you mom is doing well! What terrific news!

Good point CityGirl. I'm asking if I should start something. It is all very quick and completely irresponsible. Yeah, we had sex and I guess I'm feeling attached now. I feel like it could be something great, but at the same time, I've just gotten out of my emotionally abusive, physically neglected marriage and I don't know if what I'm feeling is real or just a reaction to something different than i'm used to. I want to get to know this person better (yes out of the bedroom too) but there is so little time left to do that.

Well, there are lots of ways to get to know a person, right?

Two people don't have to live in the same city to be friends and get to know one another better.

Only you know your feelings but yes, I would think a large part of what you might be feeling is a reaction to being treated in a much different way than your H treated you. That is not to say there isn't more there of course but sex adds a few more complicated layers!

What does he think?

He says he's feeling attached to me too. Frustrated that we didn't get together sooner (but we wouldn't have anyway because I was married and I don't agree with that). He wants to keep getting to know each other even though I'm leaving. He wants to keep in touch when I leave and possibly visit from time to time.

IDK... Thanks for the advice.

Well - just how far away are you moving? And what do you know about this guy?

It's true, you make oxytocin in your brain during sex and that's the bonding hormone - so try to look at this as objectively as you can, might just be hormones talking. But, if he looks like a great match on paper, and you're moving within a distance that he could come visit you periodically.......you could always wait to make a decision.

I had a boyfriend who lived an 11 hour drive away. It was a pain in the neck and I only saw him once every month or two, but if other things in the relationship had been different, it would have been totally worth it.

Question. I did something silly over the weekend... Got intoxicated and got it on. No other way to say it. I don't regret it. It was really great but now I'm feeling something for this person. I'm constantly thinking about them and I did talk to this person about it and they are feeling the same way about me. I guess my question is... Do you think that this is just because I've been neglected physically for four years and had a really crappy past 8 months dealing with a betrayal and this person has made me feel good about myself again?

I have no doubt it felt great and you are feeling wistful for someone who made you feel good after being through hell with your ex. It's nice to be treated well after being through such a traumatic situation.
Focus on the future. If you guys keep in touch, so be it. I really believe everyone comes into your ilfe for a reason so maybe he was the guy to help you see that you are awesome and could feel good about yourself, even if it was just a tryst from one night.

Good luck at your interview.