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Pack her stuff, stick in the garage, let her know where it is, and tell her she needs to come and get that stuff. Put the birth-control stuff on top where it is plainly visible.

Nuff said.

Found more crap...

I probably F'd up, but I sent her a text.

Asked her how long she's been cheating? Told her what I found. Told her to call me if she wants to tell the truth.

If she wants to come clean so be it. If she doesn't, then oh well, her old life has officially ended.

I'm personally worried about my health at this point and getting checked for STD's.

Ok, sent the text I stated in last post, along with a "are you willing to talk about it? Yes or No. Text me Yes or No"

She responded with a "Yes later sunday"

I responded with "If you can't call today, I'm not available. I'll continue to pack your things and let you know when you can pick them up. I'm very disappointed that I have to find out the truth the hard way and have to get tested for STDs now"

I screwed up by texting in the first place, but if she would have called I would have dealt with it, calmly. There is no way I'm setting myself up to waiting for her to call. Just too much to handle today. I lost it a little bit.

Very frustrating to say the least. Kick my self for turning into this "Nice Guy" doormat. Such BS!

Back to dark, sorry Sandi.

Take your cell phone and a screwdriver outside. Gently pry the button marked TEXT from the keypad. Put the button in your pocket. Throw the phone as far as you can...

I think your health is the number one priority right now.

I hope you can leave her alone...at least until you can get to a doctor. The more she is informed of how much you have on her, the less it is helping you.....KWIM? Sweetie, you have just got to stop chopping your own head off.

I know you are so angry you could blow wide open, but it's hurting you...it apparently isn't affecting her very much, if she can put you off talking about what you've found. A normal person would run to your side as soon as they could get there and try to get things worked out, right? So, she doesn't fit that pattern! Your raw emotions doesn't seem to sway her. So the sooner you can start opperating from a calm & confident presence, the more affective you'll be.

Sandi,

Thanks for checking in. Yeah, I know what you mean. It just hurts so F'n much to find this crap. That's why I slipped. No excuse. I just lost it. I'm still very angry.

I'm just going to focus on me. I packed the rest of her stuff in the "crap" zone, so unless she has things hidden in a weird spot, I shouldn't find anymore setbacks. I hope.

It's best to focus on my health now, STD's scare me. I also need to make sure everything else is going right too. Time to move on. I'm going to start hitting the gym regularly and hope I will find some lost confidence. No more excuses on that either. I'll post if something relevant comes up.

I fully understand about venting b/c I'm that way myself. Maybe if you had another person you could vent to (face to face) it would help releave some steam and you could reframe from going off on W.

You wondered if she left some things purposly for you to find. IDK, but when I was in the middle of my EA, I did some very stupid things b/c my brain was fogged out. I mean, it was like it never occured to me that another member of my family could be on my computer...and OM thinking it was me...would pop on and say something. I was told that I even left an email open while I went off doing something else.

So, I think your W was stupid and crazy, more than her "planting" evidence for you to find.

Spoke with W several times through email today about finances.

She admitted to me that she had an affair one time only (Yeah, right) Tried to pry, but she shut down. She is NOT remorseful and quite hard about it.

She said "It is what it is and it has nothing to do with me telling the truth, just want to move on".

Told her I'm getting a mediation attorney to help split everything 50/50, she was pretty standoffish but told her I wasn't trying to drag out divorce or stall it. Told her it's best we separate as fast as possible.

Told her she needs to come get what she wants out of the house. She has so much crap I don't even know what to do with it.(Way too much Shopping) Instead of playing with the stuff as target practice, I think it's better she gets to help choose.

I'm not really mad today and seeing the lack of remorsefulness about the affair motivated me to get the hell out as fast as I can go. She's definitely bitter towards me and until we're completly separated, there is no chance of her coming back to the W personality I use to have. I know what I did wrong in the relationship, but who needs someone that is that callous about the damage it causes. I know I would feel bad and at least say I'm sorry. Guess maybe she's vindictive.

I will not be able to detach until she is completely eliminated from my life. Poor next guy.

This, too, shall pass ... if you let go.

I'm having a hard time with the emotion or lack thereof of WAS. When he first gave me the ILYBINILWY speech he was sobbing so hard he made himself sick. I actually sat on the bathroom floor with him and tried to comfort HIM! Since then he has had nothing to say about our M or R. It's like it didn't happen as far as he's concerned. 18 years of being together and he's acting like I'm gum on his shoe that he can't scrape off. I know he has feelings for me in there somewhere-I just don't understand how he can be so cold and remorseless.

Sorry she's acting like that.