Trusting, I believe it will. You have effectively removed yourself from his life.
As far as your D, I would just let her make the decision; she is old enough.
I look at my R w/X as a codependent one in which X became the child and I was the parent figure. The MLC was a kind of rebellion, among other things.
(One of the things I am learning is how to avoid getting sucked into situations where I have more responsibility than is warranted. Or maybe I should say I am realizing that it is not my responsibility to fix or solve certain types of problems.)
Now, how do you rebel against something that isn't there? That is the position that they will find themselves in. It might take years, but I do believe it will happen. And I think that the feelings of anger and stompety-stomp "It's not fair-ness" wind up directed at OP.
I find myself thinking that you're in an interesting situation because some of our kids are teens, and the MLCer is kind of like a teenager. At least mine is.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
It it worse than having another teenager, because my kids behave far better than ex does.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Ex and OW are taking the kids for 4 days this week to Missouri to visit her parents. Oh, great! It is amazing what we have to put up with. I plan on getting lots of rest and sun and taking care of myself during this time. You get to the point where you get tired of feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing. My best revenge is staying away from nutcase.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I am looking at new options for my life. It would be easier if ex just moved on, but he still is quite angry at the fact that I divorced him because he was cheating. He stated that he really did not want the divorce, he just wanted the relationship with OW to play out.
I am just getting to the point where I don't know if ex is even attractive to me anymore. I am longing for a emotionally mature man.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, time to start dating? Or at least entertaining it?
Your ex's actions still seem to bother you a great deal. You seem to be very attached to whatever he is doing w/OW. Perhaps it is time to figure that the kids already see it for what it is and let their crazy-go-round spin by itself.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Let me get this straight. HE is mad at YOU for divorcing HIM because HE was having and AFFAIR, and just wanted it to play itself out? OMG, that's priceless. You should have that embroidered on a sampler to hang on the wall. All MLC'rs should have to have a similar bumper sticker on their vehicles.
Does he even know how stupid that sounds?
My H would have gladly kept his affair in the closet, but she outed him herself. Even she didn't trust him.
Trusting, you've done your best. Move on for yourself and your kids.
What forward said is spot on. The OW is in the picture. The kids have already interacted with her. Time to let go and let God. Time to really separate you from the R that XH has with the kids. Time for Trusting to really focus on trusting's happiness.
As for the button pushing..If you know it is coming why do you allow it. Maybe you need to get to a place where you really (and I mean really) limit the contact with your XH. Almost to the point of text only.
Having said this I do understand how difficult it is when children are involved. It is sooooo hard BUT it can be done.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I know I have to completely let go. It is difficult for me but I am getting there.
My contact with ex is close to nothing. He texted me 3 times yesterday and I just did not respond. My ex's thinking is so irrational it makes me soooo goofy sometimes.
Even though I have a good career, I have always defined myself as a wife, and mother. The MLC really changes those dynamics. I am no longer a wife, and now I am a part-time mother. Finding a new path has been a challenge for me.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
