Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done Help, ex coming here in 2 days!

Well, just as expected XH is back in the tunnel of MLC! I wish in someways that he would just stay in there and not poke his head out for a short period of time, cause it is so hard to see the real him and then he is gone again.

He had a job interview in another city even further from his than here, and never even bothered to tell me he was flying off to this interview leaving our D17 alone in the city where they live!! He was only going on a day trip, but for emergency purposes it would have been nice for him to inform me! That really set me off and I called (remained calm) to tell him I did't appreciate him doing this and he said he thought he told me, which is a lie cause he has barely spoken to me since he left here. Then, he goes on to say that I never cared where he was when we were married, what plane he was on or what city he was in! Which of course isn't true at all, but this is how he views our marriage..that I only cared about the kids and never cared about him. So, I just told him I was sorry he ever felt that way, that I never intended it as neglect and if I didn't pay attention to all that, I am sorry and it was insensitive of me. I told him I care now and that he needs to tell me cause he is still the father of my children and that I don't appreciate not knowing that D17 was alone in the city cause there could have been an emergency with her!!

XH traveled all the time when the kids were really little and it was hard on me, I lost my identity and had a mom-life crisis myself and really didn't treat him very well at times. And, just him saying that to me indicates he still thinks about all that and it hurts him. How I wish he would have given me the chance to make all that up to him now that the kids are older and I could be paying much more attention to him like he needs. His mom died when he was 8, his dad was an alcholic and kicked him out at 16..no one ever took care of him and loved him like a Mom should...not that I want to be his mom, but his lover and friend and support system now that I have figured it all out. I was raised very secure and loved so I didn't understand his needs, it didn't come natural to me that he needed constant admiration and affection from me, now I know and now I could do it!

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