I am not waiting, just interviewing L's. Each one has a different angle to the sitch. Right now my W is telling me that she does not want anything finacially from me. However, if she gets a L then they might start talking with her about financials that she is entitled to. The L yesterday recommends that I file and I will and request that since she wants an uncontested D that she work through him...all ethical according to the L.
The question is, if she goes dark do I still use charm and wit and email her occassionally with something relevant to her? Right now she has not retained a L and I assume the one she spoke with has not seen the pre-nup. Her L quoted a low sum that my L thought was ridiculously...so who knows if she spoke with a L or getting advice from a friend.
She is asking for my advice on what she should do.
Your right. It seems that your W started questioning her decision as the clocked ticked closer to D day. But as I read from gucci if I really love her set her free that is in the action of filing for D and not just words of letting them go.
Your right. It seems that your W started questioning her decision as the clocked ticked closer to D day. But as I read from gucci if I really love her set her free that is in the action of filing for D and not just words of letting them go.
Well, it's not that simple. We spoke after about 6 weeks, she wanted to see me (I suppose to see if she "felt" anything). Then she wanted to go on a couple of dates, so we did, so then she said she didn't feel anything, so I gave the Gucci/robx speech: fine, I get it, you aren't in love with me, and I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't really love me. Let's go ahead and finish up this divorce.
So the divorce went off hold, but then she kept calling until I finally said I didn't want to be buddies and that if she wanted to move on with her life, it would probably be easier if she just let go and stopped calling.
She switched to emailing about the divorce dates, etc. No responses from me, and then as the date approached... she came and visited. From there, things have been on a better track in terms of re-establishing intimacy and such... so far.
Motto of this story? Who the heck knows what they are thinking? But if they want to go, let them go. Not letting them go means they will treat you like crap, and you don't need that.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Why are you still trying to control this? Why are you looking for permission to do something.
Look at the end of the day, she will do what she wants to do. She can promise this or that until the cows come home.
Very simple buddy....chit or get off the pot. You wanna to save your M, well then act like it and do nothing - worried about saving your financial future (and trust me I get it) well then act that way. Either way you cannot do BOTH.
Just remember - we are all entitled to change our minds. You can change yours she can change hers.
In the end, YOU must DO what YOU think is best for YOU. If that is to keep fighting for this women because you love her then really what I say shouldn't mean chit. Then again...do you really love her?
Think of it this way....
Do you have a right to YOUR choices? Does she have a right to HERs?
Who decides for YOU and who decides for HER?
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Unfortunately, I don't think my sitch will go in the direction as your appears to be headed. My W has totally detached from me or she has built a fortress so dense that I could not penetrate it. I think either my W still has strong feelings for me or she is in the wrong profession and should be an actor...no signs of pulling away emotionally. But at this moment those are past thoughts and I need to focus on the future.
It is funny how she still wants me to help her decide what to do and it appears that I will undoubtedly pay for the legal fees...as usual to prevent paying out the nose in the future. I will send the email that you authored w/o the okay part in a few minutes. Should I send an email or two to her during this time to keep communication open or just follow her lead?
I defintely do not want to be around my W if she did not love me and respect me. There are too many fish in the sea and I am sure there is one that I am compatible with.
Thanks for the advice. Yes, I want to save my M, but from what I gather that is not the advice from the posters. All are telling me if I love her then set her free, plus it protects me financially. I realize that I cannot control her, but the advice that I getting from the L's has not been all that consistent. I am just trying to get clarity before I tell her that I will carry the legal football for the both of us.
I think either my W still has strong feelings for me or she is in the wrong profession and should be an actor...no signs of pulling away emotionally.
No contact.
Wants a D.
On a dating site.
Has kept your A buried in her heart.
Oh, she has pulled away.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
