Yesterday I needed to get new tires so while I was waiting I had an important issue that needed to be addressed...we started discussing via TM. When we got home she was short so I asked her if she was in a bad mood and she said "now I am" I asked why and she said "you interrupted my me time"....
Hi Lowe, I haven't been following your sitch so hopefully this suggestion isn't too 'off base'.
My H and I had a similar interaction last week. I wanted to discuss something; he didn't; but rather than just asking me if we could discuss it later he put up with it but then finally snapped at me. Yeek. That discussion was OVER and I was mad for a long time after.
After I thought about it I wondered why he didn't just tell me that he didn't really feel like discussing or to suggest we discuss later. So I decided to tell him what my IC told me a while back; that he has the right to ask me for what he needs in this M. That if he wasn't feeling like talking about it then, he had the right to let me know that, and ask if we could arrange another time to talk about it. You could just see the relief on his face when I suggested this. I don't think that had even occurred to him and I think he was glad I'd shared the idea.
I think it gives them some feeling of control and emotional safety, when you want them to discus something they are apprehensive about, or feeling out of control about.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
I think it gives them some feeling of control and emotional safety, when you want them to discus something they are apprehensive about, or feeling out of control about.
Good point FMV!
M-43 FWW-42 T 20 M 16 DD10 DD8 EA: 1/10 Informal separation: 6/11/2010 Headed for D: 7/6/2010 Piecing? 9/10/10
