Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Do I wait her out?

19 years is a huge gap. In my opinion it calls for problems down the road.

Hi luvless,

I appreciate your comment.
My wife was the one to chase me for a date, even though I was in a short term relationship at the time; I dated her when it was finished. She had waited eight months for me to be available. She then proposed to me after a year of dating, I said let's wait a while longer. After another year I proposed to her and we got married. I tried to talk her out of the dating initially saying there was a big age gap. She insisted at the time it was not an issue for her, she has said the same during our marriage and has said the same since she left. I can only take her at her word and her actions, age doesn't seem to be the problem.

I think that Stubborn's illness was difficult for her to deal with. Illness strikes in all age groups. "In sickness and in health", right? It is never easy for the sick spouse or the caretaking one. Hopefully time and space will allow her to address any issues she has.

Stubborn, if you want to go to the social event, do so and enjoy yourself. Look sharp and smell good too!

I understand all that stubborn - and I'm sure you are telling it like it was - she pursued YOU.

I'm just saying the age gap - it was going to be a problem later than sooner.

luvless,

maybe, maybe.
I obviously just don't know, only she knows that.

pinhead,

I really thank you for your understanding. It is a relief for me to know that there is someone else out there, who really understandsm what I have been through and how I feel. I have been very positive for the past three weeks and I intend to continue.

I also thank the Lord for his mercy.

Thank you again.

Well folks, I went to the social event, a picnic, and my wife was there.
I stayed two hours without acknowledging her, looking dirctly at her or speaking to her. I dressed up well, smelt good (I hope) and was very cheerful and happy; so I feel it went well for me. I'm not really bothered if wife noticed, but she must have, it was for my benefit not hers. It was the first time I had seen some of my friends for some months, so I was very glad I went. I am continuing my no contact phase for a while, we will see how it goes, but I feel it is helping me. I know that NC means not even seeing the spouse but sometimes it's difficult.

Good for you! There will be more opportunities ahead. Keep a PMA....that is sooooo important! Expect to have some "down" moments. Maybe I should say "prepare" for when those down moments attack. Have something in mind to keep yourself busy when that comes. Kind of like saving something special for a rainy day.

Thanks for your support sandi2, it is good to have someone pat you on the back now and then.
I have been feeling good about myself since I sent my wife the 'I'm letting you go' letter on 29th.August; and we have had no contact since, other than the picnic on Sunday. Since the letter I haven't had any 'bad' days, so that must be good for me. It is strange though, I have no interest in what my wife is doing, it's an unusual feeling.

You are way ahead of the curve. good job