Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW left on Independence Day and not communicating

HIH,

Laura Ingraham is on FOX right now!

These two sentences did not contradict each other at all

pookie,

I stopped watching Fox and CNN a few months ago. The reason why I made that comment is that I am upfront with my objective. I am here because I want to get my W back into my life.

I realize that the M that my W and I had is dead and that if we do get back together that we will have to work hard to create a new M. I also realize that my goal may not be achieved so that is why it is important to GAL in parallel so that I am more attractive to my W and if that is not meant to be then be attractive to someone else who will appreciate what I ohave to offer as a person.

But yet he won't send a virtual cupcake with a simple unemotional greeting.

Still on the fence. I am suppose to catch up to my WAW in the detachment category....right?

Happy Birthday W! I spent all night baking you a cupcake, but the frosting got smudged going through email.

Cheers


All but 2 past and present LBH's advise me to send it. The one WAW that offered her advice said do not send it. That is the paradox. I am inclined to listen to the WAW because if we all did in the past we LBH's wouldn't be here.

You know if you really just want to send out a Bday greeting...My Bday is at the end of the month. And I promise to respond.

. Doodi

Doodi,

I will send you a Bday I promise! I guess I feel like every action either from the WAS or the LBS is viewed under a microscope because all of our emotions are at a peak and are raw!

I want to send my W the email because it is the right thing to do (my heart speaking) and naturally it is a goodwill gesture....possibly melting the ice a bit. But will she view the gesture as manipulation or me just hanging on? Also, sending the email does not support my words of letting her go, thus confusing her.

I keep reading that the WAS is far ahead in the dept. of detachment and that the LBS needs to catchh-up...again the email indicates that I am still in the starting blocks...I know that I am, but my W doesn't...until I send her the email.

You still think I should not send it....right?

You got it. Don't send it. It seems to me that you are trying to convince yourself that you want to send it just because it's the nice thing to do, but reading your posts you truly have deeper more needful reasons. I really don't see anything bad coming from you NOT sending a greeting, but I do see the damage if you do.

I do want to add this. I can only offer advice. You are in the end the one who has to look into the mirror and be ok with whatever you've done. Make your decision and own it. Whatever the outcome is, it will not be against me or Pinhead or anyone but you, so make sure you are truly at peace with whatever you decide and are aware of the possible ramifications of that choice.

You will do what's right for you. Believe that.
Doodi

Doodi,

I agree that the decision is my own and that I am not detached enough from my W to make a clear decision. I was fine with my decison not to send the email because it was aligned with my words of letting her go.

I really must focus my energies and take advantage of the time given on detachment so that I am okay if my sitch ends in D. I am focused too much on one issue and not looking at the overall sitch.